Hello beautiful people. I hope you're doing very well? In response to this beautiful kiss #145 prompt for the week...Oh well, life can be a chaotic mix of emotions, opinions, and unsolicited advice, most of which can be overwhelming, right? Add other people's anxiety into the mix, and it’s a recipe for mental clutter. But in my journey toward simplicity and purpose, I’ve learned how to shield myself from absorbing the anxiety of others, and let me tell you, it’s been calming! In this article, I'm gonna share a few methods I use with you.
Growing up in a culture where communal living thrives (hello, Nigeria!), personal space isn’t exactly a priority. People mean well, but their anxieties often become collective concerns. I remember a family friend once stressing about my weight. While I understood their worry, recognizing what belongs to me emotionally and what doesn’t is my first line of defense before allowing myself to feel bad over what I hadn't even given much thought to prior the conversation.
One thing I definitely practice as an empath is the art of selective listening. You know how sometimes people ramble on about their fears, and suddenly you’re holding onto their worries like it’s your burden? I used to be that person who internalized everyone’s stress until I realized I didn’t sign up to be a human sponge. These days, I practice selective listening. I’ll hear you out, but I don’t let it latch onto my brain like an unwanted houseguest and keep me up at night. I have convinced myself to believe that everyone has something going on in their lives, including myself, it's all part of our personal journeys. And I can't keep allowing myself get lost in the labyrinth of other's paths, hereby ignoring mine.
Sometimes, when people share their worries with me, I empathize with them and try to offer logical solutions. I believe in addressing the root of a problem to find solutions. However, I’ve learned that not everyone wants solutions, some just need a listening ear. So, I listen without feeling the need to constantly share my thoughts. That said, as much as I want to be there for my friends, some people don’t understand when to stop. I’ll go out of my way to comfort a friend, but not at the expense of my own mental well-being. I value being someone my friends can rely on, and I’m happy to be that person. But when the conversation endlessly circles back to the same issue, and they reach out at all hours just to vent about it, it can become overwhelming to always play the role of the listener.
Ultimately, I’ve learned that mindfully avoiding others' anxiety and creating boundaries is not selfish, it’s self-care. By protecting my mental space, I’m able to show up for others and myself in a healthier, more intentional way.
Then there’s the issue of absorbing indirect anxiety from people online. Someone announces their engagement, and while you’re genuinely happy for them, you can’t help but question what you’re doing wrong and why you don’t even have a relationship to call your own. Or you see someone’s career taking off, and suddenly, you’re wondering why you feel like such a failure.
When that kind of anxiety starts to creep in, gratitude becomes my go-to remedy. Taking a moment to reflect on what’s going well in my life helps me stay grounded. I remind myself that I’m living in the midst of some of my answered prayers and that there are people who dream of being where I am now. Silently counting my blessings and acknowledging the progress I’ve made keeps me focused and centered. Gratitude replaces anxiety in my journey.
Life is too short to carry worries that aren’t mine, and I’m here to live lightly, breathe deeply, and focus on what truly matters. And that’s my anxiety-free recipe for living a meaningful life.
Thank you for reading! :)
