When it comes to receiving and giving gifts, I consider it one of the most intentional acts ever. Which is why I don’t believe in the term “unwanted gift.” Or rather, I have different view on them. The masterminds who decided “gift-giving” deserved a spot in the five love languages weren’t wrong, it’s pure genius.
Think about it: when someone gifts you something, they’re not just tossing random objects your way. They’ve thought about you (awww), made an effort (sweet), and spent money they could’ve used to buy themselves lunch (okay, a bit dramatic, but you get it). So, anytime I receive a gift, I focus on the thought behind it, not the item itself. Because, let’s be real, intentions > material value, always.
That said, even I (queen of intentional gifting) have a couple of exceptions. And yes, I will explain them with examples because nothing screams "I have a point" like anecdotes, lol.
Now, as a minimalist and defined by my approach toward giving and receiving gifts, what I would most likely term "unwanted gifts" are two categories; same item from more than one persons, gift with ulterior motive from the wrong persons.
Now, let me bring you into my thought pattern as regards the first category.
Category 1: Same Gift, Different Givers
Let’s start with what happened on my birthday. Before the big day, I posted a picture of these super chic earrings I was obsessing over. They were simple, classy, and everything. Fast forward to my birthday, and guess what? Two of my amazing friends had the same thought: “Let’s make Mide’s dream come true.” And they did. Twice.
Now, as much as I loved the earrings (seriously, they’re gorgeous), owning two identical pairs felt excessive. I mean, what am I supposed to do with an extra set? Keep them as backup in case the first pair goes rogue? Sounds like greed to me, especially since I’m annoyingly careful with my stuff. So, I did the next best thing: I gave one pair to my sister for Christmas. She loved them, and honestly, it felt good knowing the earrings were getting the love they deserved.
And here’s the best part: neither of my friends has to know. Whenever they see me wearing the earrings, they’ll smile, thinking I’m rocking their thoughtful gift. It’s a win-win.
Category 2: Gifts With Ulterior Motives
This one’s trickier. Picture this: a man old enough to be my father (I’m talking uncle-level vibes) decided he wanted to date me. I turned him down, politely but firmly. Did that stop him? Nope! Fast forward to Valentine’s Day, and this man sends me a bouquet of roses, chocolates, sparkly stuff, and (wait for it) a beautiful phone pouch. Romantic, right? Wrong!
Let’s break this down. First, we weren’t family. Second, we weren’t friends. Third, we definitely weren’t emotionally involved. So why on earth was he sending me a Valentine’s package?! Of course, I could’ve kept the gifts, ignored his intentions, and gone about my life. But let’s face it, accepting that package would’ve been the equivalent of sending mixed signals.
So, I did what any principled minimalist would do. I returned everything via dispatch and sent him a polite but clear text thanking him for the gesture while letting him know it made me uncomfortable. And guess what? Message received. He hasn’t bothered me since.
So, there you have it. As a minimalist, I view gifting as a language of intention. The item itself? Secondary. And if the intentions don’t align with my values, I have no problem handling the situation, whether it’s regifting a duplicate or saying “thanks, but no thanks.”
How about you? What’s your take on gifting? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
All images used in this article are mine
Thank you for reading!
