Night sky as witness. We feel its breeze.

Nights

Some nights speak to my soul, it renders me a bunch of ideas, and only a few of them make it out of the dusk. I’ve always been told as a child that monsters come out by evening. As I grew up, I tend to mistake my thoughts as the monster they were talking about.

A few months back, I struggled to manage my schedule and it went downhill from there. I knew I fought a good fight despite experiencing the worst burnout I’ve ever encountered. I’ve made it a habit that whenever I need to clear my mind, whenever I’m in need of therapy to create something, or just to co-exist with nothingness, I’ll just go outside, in the middle of the night. Everyone’s asleep and by then, I am at peace. Stars fall as I wish for the moment to never end.

^{Thoughts all over, be still.}

Time has made me understand how much love and emotions I’ve set for many things. It’s not that hard to understand, honestly. I know there will come a time, there will be that one night, a particular moment, wherein I’ll get tired of seeing the same scene, over and over, but everything’s going to be alright.

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All of these people that are passing by are also living in their own universe that is as complex as mine. It just felt like it, if everything is possible, then there is nothing else that matters. All of these windows, all these cars passing, and even the smallest detail around, these too will someday be filled with other stories, but by other people.

^{Midnight famine, a safe haven.}

Lastly, there are some parts of me that ignore all my fears, I just happened to be more scared of having my sentiments deepen as days pass by. Like, all the people that I’ve been hanging around, even with strangers. It feels like, what if I never get to see any of them again? Given the chance, is it possible?

Maybe there are parts of my soul that chose to merge with those moments, even though it’s not always happy, somehow it’s still one of the vital minutes that keeps me sane. Life is livable with people. Maybe I’ve constantly lived for the moment.

But moments end.

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