It has been almost twenty days since my last post. That's the longest break I've had from Hive in a long time. Though, I still don't quite feel like writing and this certainly is quite forced. But maybe this can help me bring back the want and enjoyment in writing. I've been doing photography perhaps more than ever. Reaching around 30k steps every day. Walking endlessly under the rain and spring sun, capturing the city and its inhabitants in new ways as I push myself into new levels of creativity and confidence. Partially with some carelessness and also with the fact that I see so many other people roaming the streets with their own cameras now.
Anyway, this post is a bit of an update on my last one. I got good bad news. After my mother's surgery and the following 'terminal' diagnosis, three painful weeks followed for my family as we waited for what exactly that terminal diagnosis really meant. It wasn't a good time. It was a nightmarish one. But the other day we got the news that her remaining cancer is considered low grade, to the point in which the doctors won't bother checking up on her for another year. That's the best bad news we could've received, ultimately. It means she should (hopefully) get a few good years left before this becomes an actual problem for her.
This has definitely pushed me into a better mood, more calm and motivated knowing it didn't end up the absolute worst it could've been. And so I've been using that energy to run around and let my love for the streets and photography devour me. The 'no more fucking around' mentality has hit. I just want to enjoy the spring and my passions. To put the stress behind for now and focus on my own happiness. But yeah, my ability to write definitely hasn't returned. This is feeling like quite a struggle, where I don't quite have the words to share regarding much else. It rained the other day, and I loved being out in the rain for the entire day and evening photographing people and the streets in a different manner. I do hope there's some more soon.
Sometimes weather really helps with motivation in giving you new ways to interact within a space. Where the city's main street is usually the place I avoid and hate the most. But the other day was full of life and vibrancy as the artificial light reflected colour throughout the streets, as the rain did. Though today, where it didn't rain, I did have that sudden realisation that I still don't have a variable ND filter and I definitely need to get one going into these incredibly bright spring and summer days. Where everything ends up being a bit too blown out without one. I hope the rain season comes soon though, Yerevan feels like another world under the rain. And the way it opened up my creativity was something that made me feel like I had awoken from a long slumber.