I am captive, perhaps missing a part of myself I neglected, or forgot, and now struggle to find...
I sneezed, and as I closed my eyes, a butterfly came to mind—so quickly, so unexpectedly. One of those thoughts you don’t summon, that simply arrives, appearing out of nowhere… There it was: yellow, big, beautiful, fluttering through my garden of white flowers. It became real! It looked as though it had escaped from the sun. Surely the sun turns its rays into butterflies. Why not? I can believe anything I wish to believe and be happy in my own company. Yes, but there are days when I’m not… days when I miss you, and later I realise I was only missing myself—that divine being within me, pushing each day to emerge, to manifest beauty.
My wellspring is not dry—there are tears there (of all kinds), rising at the most unexpected moments. Lately, I feel more sensitive, yet more connected to the whole, and I can choose with awareness, without fear of being judged or of what others might say. In fact, when you choose like this, you become invisible… this has surprised me. And at the same time, I am fully aware that forces are at work within me… and life is such a miracle that I encourage others to live it from their inner greatness, without dwelling on those fears that can overwhelm them at every step. Full stop—I am not immune to them… But I understand, in moments of clarity, when butterflies fly near, that those fears are only tied to things that haven’t happened—and may never happen! It’s the future speaking louder than our present. Because we were taught that way, taught to prepare for a tomorrow that doesn’t truly exist, because it has not yet been lived.
So… I would ask you to rise from this source of love, to fill with your words these invisible waters in which we swim together, in silence—in this silence of ours that, though absolute, is not devoid of presence. I would ask you to gather our skies so I might touch you and make love to you every night of my life… and it is this contradictory dialogue that flows from my heart, still searching for a part perhaps neglected, forgotten… because making love to you—right now—it is already happening.
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