I'm not happy here in this apt. I haven't been happy in so long I don't know what it is anymore. I try to never write about it but it's always there. The shoulda woulda coulda is hitting me hard. I mean I should just move right? Work out a way, a plan of action, something. Or just be quiet and endure it.
Up north from here is so nice. Cool ocean water and cool night air. Seems reasonable right? I didn't come up with a way to get there. So many things all the time. Family, and other craziness. I need space and room to breathe, to relax.
I apologize to anyone who has replied/commented on any of my posts. I haven't had the guts to even read them. I still take photos and post because I get a bit of relief from "creating" It's less and less as time goes on. There's this thing about creating. It's nonstop. I'm ether creating disaster/shit or something else. Photography was a slightly hopeful way to create something. I'm not so sure anymore but I'm still at it for now. Thank you to all who have been here and the votes and kindness.
