Well, well, well, I'll be a damned, turned around, screwed blue and tattooed and more than a little 𝕔𝕆𝔫ғỮ𝔰εⓓ...
Did You Know-
My Phone has a Macro Mode and a 'Pro' Mode... You know what that means don't you?
Yup brace yourself people I'm about to try out some photography.
I am now going to go outside and try and take some pictures of the frost using my complete and utter lack of understanding, a bit of luck, and general belief that it cannot possibly be that hard to figure out.
Can it?
Lets go get some freezing cold knees!
Well attempt number one doesn't seem to be that inspiring.
Its out of focus a bit... These weird sliding scales and numbers don't mean shit at this stage... ISO... Shutter speeds, Aperture.
Why the fuck cant they say what they do in plain English.
OK attempt number 2096 Seems to be a bit better But seriously my knees are frozen as are my elbows... I can no longer feel my feet, My testicles have retreated to somewhere in my stomach and not to mention at this stage I believed that I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities.
Dejected and full of a deep sense of, Fuck it, I went back towards the house.
Whoa... Look an Icicle Growing spɹɐʍdn, That's kinda cool...
Maybe water would be better to try this stuff on? I'll go have a coffee and wait for the frost to melt.
Maybe warm up a bit and decide if its worth trying it again.
About an Hour or so later, I'm back outside staring at a washing line for a few minutes. By This point My Wife, Son, and The dog are looking at me like I have gone completely insane.
But in the words of Baldrick, I have a cunning plan...
d̴r̴i̴p̴ 💧
d̴r̴i̴p̴ 💧
d̴r̴i̴p̴ 💧
Look at that... A Drop of water.
Its still a little bit frozen but that's definitely a drop of water.
Somehow shouting across the yard 'Hey Look its water!' made them even more convinced Id gone bat shit crazy.
But I will not be deterred, What else drips water lets go have a look!
Willow tree check -
That's definitely a Drippity droppity of the H20, Pure aqua the one and only source of life on earth. Dripping from my willow tree and posing for a photo shoot.
Smile little droplet, your going on the blockchain!
OK Now Thats really kinda awesome, that drop of water has an upside down willow tree in it. How the hell does it fit in there?
Is it a window into the multiverse?
Even the spider web on the branch has tiny drops of water...
THERES WATER EVERYWHERE!
Another Miniature Tree in its natural habitat. This Macro thing is really getting kind of fun. I wonder what's down at ground level now that the ice has melted ?
So Back down on my knees grunting like a Pig hunting for truffles or a frequent visitor to those public toilet glory holes- You can choose your own analogy here
Look at that, there's a spider web trapping a drop of, you guessed it, EVEN MORE WATER!
Apparently all this scooting around on the grass in the morning dew has convinced everyone I had lost the plot...
'Honey are you OK?'
'Mommy, Whats wrong with Dad?'
'Nothing, I think Daddy must have lost something... Like his bloody Mind'
Of course I explained myself, What exactly am I doing?
Well I am getting soaking wet in the nice almost tropical 2 Degree Celsius air taking pictures of water droplets for a post.
'That's a bit Silly dad'
Sums it up I guess...
But look at all these tiny drops on this bit of grass... I bet this is what the world looks like to a bunch of ants.
In fact I will now call Macro Photography AntVision™ .
Anyone have any Objections?
NO?
Good.
I Think maybe next time I try this I'm going to lay on some trash bags or something though, As by this point I'm officially really soggy.
I have to be honest one of the greatest challenges I faced with this little experiment is finding interesting new ways to keep my phone steady.
With My MS causing a lot of hand vibrations, and messing with the focus, It was difficult to get even a remotely unfuzzy shot.
This always seems to happen the most when I try to hold my hands steady.
That and trying to manually give the lens on my phone instructions...
I did discover after a while that using a big ass rock was a great way to position myself when I was on the ground to keep the camera steady.
Natures Tripod.
Made it much easier to adjust the settings, Those strange words I don't pretend to understand until I Had something close to what I wanted to take a picture of.
Then of course I Found My favourite model just waiting for a picture, time to try out everything I have learned in AntVision™.
This was probably about as difficult as my Hamster brain could cope with, Multiple tiny sections to keep in focus and hoping for the best.
I shit thee not I took about 60 pictures of this little bugger, 2 of which survived the cutting block.
So Spending A while on my knees in the frost, and a few hours laying in the grass with continuous comments about my visible butt crack, sanity, the wet state of my clothes, and a whole lot of F-Bombs later...
Was it worth it?
I have absolutely no clue at all.
Will I ever do it again?
Definitely.
I enjoyed doing this more than I would have believed possible considering my pictures have always been a weak point, but next time I think I'll have a better grasp on what I'm doing.
Like Riding a Bike, Frying an Egg or Having Sex I'm sure I'll get better with practice.
Thanks for joining me on this completely random departure from my usual format and have a great day.
All Photos taken on my Chinesium Xiaomi M11 Lite