“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
― Napoleon Hill
Wish you are doing well, healthy and positive.
For me it's been quite an adventure since my last post, mostly it was me, myself and I getting all the knowledge about what was happening to me, where I can improve, getting used to everything that is new to me.
Took me months trying to get an idea for writing a post, a story, or a new fantastic road trip to share with you all, but I'll stay true to myself and there for true to you all and write what comes directly from my heart.
One year ago I went in hospital, where doctors also found out my heart is leaking since when I was born 28 years ago, there for it also grew two times bigger and needed an open heart surgery where they changed the leaking heart valve with a mechanical one.
Took me about 3 months to accept what happened, pain started slowly going away, mostly around my ribs, got used to taking daily medication, started accepting myself, the sound my heart now makes and all the new feelings for life inside me as well as outside me.
Around that time I also joined a club where we I join on weekly activities, keeping me active, social and learning a lot more about the heart and a healthy way of living after heart surgery.
It's one thing to read all about it on the internet, it's a whole new, better experience when an expert cardiologist explains it in a presentation. In these months I also went back to some old hobbies that weren't best for me, but at least I was able to talk to some friends over the internet, watch movies together and play some online games. These months I had to isolate myself to let my body heal and my immune system recover as well. I'm grateful to have help although I loved the feeling of being able to live and care for myself, cook and partly wash clothes. With the help of my mother, friends and therapist's I slowly started feeling better again.
6 months after the surgery I went on a rehabilitation center with the club, was able to go on easy hikes, threw the forest, up the hill and even found quite a few edible mushrooms. I got used to what I can eat, mostly related around vegetables and the limited intake of Vitamin K as I'm taking blood thinners. Trying to eat healthy, was able to drive normally, started meeting people, got back into social life, after almost 4 months of isolation (+ 2 months where I was in hospital)
In these months I started experiencing a lot better feel for myself, my body and how out side world/events effect my body, I can feel & hear every heart beat, there for I can feel how different emotions effect my heartrate, even different thoughts or motions ,while exercising.
Cold temperatures make my hands and feet make cold and it's a lot harder for my body to warm them up.
I'm grateful that every other research doctors did on me were all positive news, that I'm really healthy and will be able to recover fully, also my blood pressure continued to be stable, In this time period I got used to taking blood thinners, and even under doctors supervision reduced or changed some of the medicine.
Somewhere in the middle of June I started going to cardiac rehabilitation center where the cardiologist checked me out, took blood tests, scanned my heart and tested me out on their special bicycle and since then I've been going there to get strength, motivation, even more knowledge about my body and improving in daily activities, went on the bicycle at least 2x a week where I managed to safely went from 60W of power to 140W at the moment, sometimes in the mix of cycling and walking up the hill while physiotherapist , doctor and nurse have eyes on us.
Before I mentioned the cold having effect on me, there came really hot summer, that was a heavy one for me, having even more effect's on my body and probably my heart as well, had several visits to the doctors where luckily every time they said everything is alright, while having difficulty breathing, fatigue,... everything from higher temperatures over 30 degrees and with the rough stormy weather that I felt even before the storm came.
Today I'm gratefully writing that after 11 months it started to feel a lot better, managed to get quite a few goals reached and done, I'm ending cardio rehabilitation in next two weeks, started living without any pain, accepted myself, getting to know my body a lot better, improved the feelings, found peace with myself, accepting, respecting and valuing myself, I feel safe, that everything is and will be right and started looking for things I can learn from this, instead of taking it as a negative thing, I'll try my best to take positive things, " seed of an equal or greater benefit " to share it out of this life experience.
Because in these months it started getting a lot easier for me when I talked about my experience, the easiest way was to somebody I don't even know, so it's purely for letting my mind and soul speak out loud, but it took time for me to get started writing about it as well.
Of course! I'm alive that's the most important one, was fortunate enough to go drive an OM606 ( just an old mercedes with a legendary engine ) and was randomly offered a ride in a drift taxi I've always dreamed about it.
I'll make the long story short and write more about it all in next post's coming soon
There is still time, to reach them all and then some. :)
There were promises and 'small goals' I repeated to myself for the time I was in hospital, especially those 4 weeks right after the surgery when I was in intense care for almost 20 days.
To be able to :
- drive normally at least 100km ( such a small country that is enough for a beautiful road trip )
- go for a swim in the sea
- go on a easy short hike, to the top of a hill
- find a sea shell
- gain confidence in my body & in my heart, gain muscle mass and stay healthy
Small goal for this year I'm still working towards :
- prepare, stay active, get strength in legs, body to - go snowboarding this winter season
I've added a bit of photos in between to add a bit of colors, all have been made from February onward till this month, to add some colors and share joy full moments with you as well, I'm truly grateful for the car that helped me get threw all the difficult days that are now far behind me. When I wasn't able to walk, like in the middle of the Winter, the car helped me climb every obstacle in between.
Thank you for taking time to read, I wish you a good day or a good night and a good life.
― Mahatma Gandhi
