Reflecting On Mama,
Today I need no excuse to share a picture of my mom. She is 90 years old and with be 91 in September, I know she is blessed, not because she made it to 90 but because she lived such a successful life.
I remember the day she broke up with my dad, it was a violent breakup and she moved with the three of us in tow, my younger brother and older sister.
She moved back to her mother’s house and soon we had a small apartment, four of us slept on a queen size bed, sideways. With only a primary school education she had to go out and work, she got a job as a sales clerk at a large clothing store.
It was from this little pittance that she raised us. Of course, she took my father to court for child support but as she tells me now “he never paid a cent of what the court awarded, I just did not want anything to do with that man” She brought singlehandedly, working that catch-ass job.
Despite her, and our humble beginnings, I am here to praise her life as an enormous success and an example of how without anything but sheer determination anyone can contribute so much to life.
I want to share with you why I say this with pride, besides being her son, and without going too deep into the backstories;
All three of her kids immigrated to the US and Canada – at that time it was the only way out of guaranteed poverty. The old man, my dad helped a little but she prepared and gave us up because she understood it was best. Thanks, Ma
With the values she instilled in us, all three attended universities, and two now hold a Masters in Education.
While we were gone, she took in and fostered a total of 17 kids. Sometimes she would sit and count them on her fingers. Many of the kids she took in were related but a few were just kids in the neighborhood who were having a rough time at home. Mostly girls and it did not matter their race, to her a child was a child, an innocent life.
She always added after the count, that there was only one that consistently showed her appreciation, a child of one of my cousins who I now call “sister”. She has been with my mom from the age of two years old. Today she is forty-eight still organizing a Mother’s Day lunch for mom.
On the downside, she is manipulative, wants it her way, and not afraid to speak her mind. We do not push back because we respect what she has accomplished and let her have it her way now. She will not be here forever.
Recently, I was having a conversation with her and she mentioned that she wanted to live to one hundred twenty. Of course, I did not discourage her but I thought at the time that that would be amazing.
It looks like she may be around to see my passing. Life is so unpredictable, it could happen.
Now, I don't want to dress up everything because it is Mother’s Day, there are some aspects of my mom that I could never understand and I guess I never will.
She is intensely religious, swears, and lives with the bible next to her. She wakes up in the wee hours of the morning to “read the word”.
While reading she would have a pen and notepad, it reminded me of my school days.
I never got it, I never understood why anyone will wake up that early to pray. Answer me this, am I not closer to God when I am asleep? Of course, I am. But I respect her feeling, that “The Word’ is very important to her.
And, here is another thing I never quite got. If she saw a spider, an insect any small living creature like lizards, snakes, or snails, she would kill it. I am just not able to put the two together. How could you believe “The Word” so much yet cannot let a small creature live?
I would say, “but Ma, those are God’s creatures” and her response would something like “they can harm me and I want to make sure they don’t.”
It is said that wisdom comes with age, which my cousin always points out is a bunch of baloney. Wisdom does not come with age, experience teaches us well but even in old age, many are still fools.
I started off wanting to share some things about my mom, I guess to go back in time, to reflect on her on a special day. I will not share this writing with her, I know she will feel so self-conscious that she would demand that I remove it, which I would have to do.
So in honor of my mom, I hope this made you reflect a little on your mom.
Enjoy your day.