For a good fight, you need two equally stubborn people, with a different point of view on the same subject.
For example, when Matija and I were building our tiny home, I wanted to have a little bit wider house then he wanted it to be.
It was a difference of only a half of a meter.
But we both acted very stubbornly, with solid arguments why my idea is better than his and vice versa.
Stubbornness is fighting for being RIGHT.
More I tried to convince Matija that I am RIGHT, more he was convinced that he was right.
We soon figure out that with persuasion, we can't solve this argument.
The reason for stubbornness is a desperate need for confirmation that we have been heard and that we are good enough.
So, we started to listen to each other.
I wanted to have a wider house because I wanted to have more space for my morning yoga practices.
And Matija didn't want to have a wider house because it would ruin the design of the house. The composition of the house.
Once a stubborn person gets the sense that they have been heard and respected despite a different opinion, they soften, and they are ready to find a common solution.
In the end, we agreed to make a wider house.
And Matija adjusted the design of the house so that the composition of the house was still in harmony.
That was the solution that benefited both of us.
You see, It is normal to have a different point of view on a subject.
We are different.
But we always have a choice to respect the differences or to disrespect them.
We can listen to each other or not.
And we can find a solution that benefits both of us or not.
It is our choice.
We just have to ask ourselves, what do we want?
Do we want to be RIGHT for the sake of it?
Or do we want to find a solution that will benefit both of us?
In the end, we can always agree to disagree.
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