[https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en forest-atlas.fs.fed.us changes made]
He had two laptops actually. One for trading shitcoins on #Hive-engine and another for writing a proposal on saving the Dolphins and Whales with augmented reality. Both laptop screens were displayed on a giant LCD screen on the wall. "Time to sell some of my #Lasscash', Beard whispered to himself. He clicked a few buttons and then put his feet up on his table. "All in a hard days work." Beard was joking to himself. The truth is he had many hours of work to do.
Earlier that day, Beard visited his local Electronics store. He was a bit of a wizz kid at building electronic devices. He had tesla coils, high voltage generators, modified payphones and vann de graaff generators. There was a large shopping bag with everything he bought that day.
Beard found a blueprint on the dark web for a device that was supposed to save a lot of electricity while you mined for bitcoin. He pulled the various parts out of the bag. It was a simple enough configuration, he thought. He pulled out his soldering iron and turned the overhead fan on.
When the device was built, it resembled a semi/complex board with a few major pieces and several wires. It had a strange circular arrangement of motors and several small screwed down chunks of neodymium magnets. "Surely the magnets will fuck something up," Beard murmured to himself. "Hopefully this isn't some stupid prank." He screwed in the last magnet in the arrangement.
When beard plugged the device into the wall the magnets started humming.
"So far so good," Beard said aloud. "Nothing is on fire."
When Beard plugged the device into the Laptop there was a giant white flash and Beard's field of vision turned completely black. All the thoughts he had about crypto projects faded into a complete state of meditative bliss. There were no thoughts in his head. Only complete darkness.
All of a sudden Beard felt a sense of dread. He could think, but he had no body. Where was he? Was he sleeping in bed? Just finished a dream but couldn't wake up? The last thing he remembered was ... being shocked by an electronic device! WAs he finally dead? One of his boy genius experiments gone wrong? He always secretly believed in heaven but this was just a blank space. It was horrible.
Slowly, a scene started forming ... He could see a dull outline of a grassy floor and few trees fading into existance in the background.
Beard could faintly hear the sound of the breeze and the babble of a distant river.
All of a sudden, Beard was standing in a small meadow surrounded by pine trees. There was tall grass and a few large rocks around him. He could hear birds chirping and bees buzzing around. Beard looked at his own hands in shock. "Where am I?" he said aloud in disbelief. A tall man in a tie dye hoodie walked out from behind a tree. "Why, you are in NED's Pizzeria!" The man said, gesturing to the woods.