In my 23 years of life, I don’t have a single dream that came true. BUT! I have lots of nightmares that came true and at this stage of life I think if I had a guardian angel, he will also take pity on me.
What it is like to have no problems in life?
I don’t think anyone can answer this question. Because more or less everyone has problems with something in their life. No one leads a life without facing problems.
In my case, I’m the problem. I create problems for myself, intentionally or unintentionally.
Why? Cause I’m stupid and I’m bad at making decisions when it came to myself. And these problems get worse when I tried to handle them.
A few days ago I saw a nightmare where I was convincing my teacher to let me attend the exam and she was like “who are you? Are you in my class?” It's not like she doesn’t know me, she was simply avoiding me. Because I failed to meet the requirement of 85% attendance in class. So, I’m not allowed to sit in the exam. They called this type of student defaulter.
When I woke up, I immediately knew why I saw this. I did actually miss lots of classes and I also knew this can be a threat to me later. I had the chance to avoid this threat by submitting an application but I just ignored it, cause I’m lazy as shit. And now my lazy ass is giving me the hardest time at the beginning of 2023.
This is how my nightmare came true. I have my Mid 1 in front of my door and I’m not allowed to open the door. My teacher called my parents to ask why I was unable to attend my lessons and this question fall on my house like an atom boom. Especially, my father, you know every Asian parent's response when they get called from school or college. Basically, my father acted like I was doing some contravention by skipping classes. Meanwhile, I was sleeping on my bed like a corpse.
My teacher also called a guardian meeting one day before the exam and if I were unable to give a proper explanation and if my attendance were around 50%, I’ll be in real trouble.
I know this kind of problem is intentional. I called this upon myself and now the consequences of this mistake have brought other problems with it. And I know I have to solve it alone and never made the same mistake again.
I understand. It's important to acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with a renewed commitment to making better choices. It’s not easy but it’s possible.