Have you ever asked someone, or been asked the question “How are you?” Most times, the response is usually “I’m fine,” right? And we both know that 99% of the time, people drop that cliché answer just to mask what they’re actually going through. Life is crazy, and being an adult can be so draining. Everyone has one or two things they’re dealing with. For me, I tell people I’m fine because I can’t go around telling everyone who asks how I am about all my life problems and worries. Another part is trust. Opening up to people is hard because I would really love to be sure I can trust someone with my vulnerability. Also, some discussions are just hard to have with people, I would rather figure things out on my own. However, one should know when it’s actually necessary to talk to someone, because it can be truly therapeutic to open up.
You might wonder what triggered this post, and yes, I will spill. So, there is this person who is like a sister to me. But ever since she graduated from school and I later did as well, and we both left the school area, we barely talk like before. All the while, I genuinely thought she was fine and that her business was doing really well. She would post like she normally does, you know, share memes, engage with my posts sometimes too, and all that. Then, a few days ago, she posted a funny meme related to mental health, and I just had this urge to enter her DM and ask if she was okay. She laughed it off, and I reminded her that she hadn’t really answered my question. She insisted she was fine, but then proceeded to drop a bomb.
She told me her relationship had ended. I was shocked! I know her boyfriend, and they had been dating for a very long time, six years, to be precise. I expressed my surprise and asked what happened between them. My people, when she started explaining everything she had gone through, I couldn’t close my mouth. I was so shocked and so pissed. She had been through so much since March when it happened, and she didn’t tell anyone. She was struggling with her mental health and with her business too. I was so sad for her and wished she had told me earlier. She didn’t deserve all the pain she went through, and I just couldn’t imagine how she managed during those months.
It makes me wonder how much people around us are holding in while acting like everything is okay on the outside. I can relate because of what I’m also going through low-key but still won’t talk to anyone about. I’ll still go about my day smiling and spreading positivity to people around me. Maybe some thoughts feel too deep to share, or maybe we assume people won’t understand. But at the end of the day, we all need to know our limits. If something starts affecting your mental health, it’s important to seek help and support when needed. It doesn’t make you weak or any less in control of your life. Sometimes, when you say things out loud, you realize so many people feel the exact same way, and that alone makes you feel less alone.