I was hoping to rant to myself, but penning it down looked like a better idea. Sometimes I feel life is not fair, it seems to derive joy in one's pain more than it does when one is happy. First it gives hope then smashes it at the end of the road.
The year is at its prime, but hopes are already dashing and the matter of future bothers me. Sometimes I wish things happened accordingly but it never does, instead plans and dreams fail and it gets to a point where people settle for less after being demotivated in the future and what it holds.
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Expectations hurt, it's a reality I've not been able to deal with. While we choose not to rely on something, eventually we find out it's the only thing to rely on. Life has made things hard that it leaves little room for control, we often fall back to it.
A certain airdrop I had made future plans with because of its promises and the few number of participants gave me less than the worst I imagined. What I assumed could solve some of my problems only made it worse and I began to question my life decisions.
Someone once said 99.9% of people do not have a future, whatever we do now is the future. This is why it hurts, because one keeps failing at everything and it troubles my soul. Only what seems to be crooked excel and that which is straight go through a series of discouragements..
The answer
There's no answer and that's why I rant.