Weddings are important because they celebrate life and possibility.
~ Anne Hathaway ~
A little over a month ago I was fortunate enough to be invited to a small, intimate little wedding of a friend of mine. It was not a big extravagant event by any means, if it had been my own I would have changed a few things, but it was beautiful and it was heartwarming.
The bride and groom are expecting a bouncy baby boy in the months to come and wanted to do it the "correct" way by making it all official and such.
It was quite a beautiful moment when the bride walked down the aisle and the groom started sobbing away, it made me tear up. It's got to be the best moment of a wedding other than the vows and first kiss as a married united couple.
The whole event only last three hours and was celebrated with the usual throwing of the garter and bouquet, the cutting of the cake by both of them and many toasts to their happiness. I didn't even both uncrossing my arms when she chucked the bouquet in the air lol.
Weddings are an expense that most people simply can't afford these days so there were no real frills or fancies, it was short, sweet and to the point but it was far less clinical than going to the local court office and signing the paperwork there. Gosh I couldn't think of a more mundane way of orchestrating something as auspicious and monumental than that. Please kill me first.
It's a strange concept. I've become so cynical in my old middle age that marriage just doesn't hold the same power as it used to. The statistics these days are staggering with more than half of marriages lasting less than five years and I won't even go into the marriages for no reason other than claiming a new citizenship.
What happened to the old days of courting someone for a long time, singing love songs to each other, writing poetry, love letters and professing your undying love in earnest to the person you want to spend eternity with. I blame the way of the world these days. A throwaway nation. I've been on the block long enough to see how badly things have changed and yet, I still hold onto some unrealistic vision of it happening "one day" but logically? I doubt it.
I've been almost engaged once, he ran off with a German girl who he was secretly dating behind my back while overseas. I've been actually engaged for almost five years, he cheated on me twice before the second year of our engagement was complete, I eventually left that shithole of a relationship. I've owned two wedding dresses but worn neither. I've had two engagement rings made and worn only one. That reminds me to melt it down and sell the metal. The wedding ring that I bought for myself I wear on my middle finger. I'm sure you can work out why.
It may be my cynical nature but if someone had to actually try bow a knee now, I'd probably raise an eyebrow and want to know if they were running a bad fever. I just don't think I'm matrimonially inclined. I'm strangely ok with that as well. Becoming the local cat lady has never seemed like such a good deal before, lol.
This last wedding did get me thinking and wondering about it all over again. Something I haven't bothered to do for years. I was watching two youngsters two thirds my age stand up and tie the knot in absolute unity and faith that they fully intend on being together for the long haul. I really do hope so for them and send them all the love, luck, support and strength to do exactly that. It's not easy but it's also not difficult if you're in it together and you have each other's backs. You can love through the rough patches and you can smooth over and resolve the issues as long as you are choosing to do so together at every moment. It's something that a lot of people just don't have the staying power to do these days I suppose. I totally get it if you grow apart, if you realise that you have nothing in common after ten, twenty, thirty years even - then by all means go your own ways...but it seems almost redundant these days, why get married at all then? Surely you can simply devote yourself to someone else without having to have the government sign off on it and recognize you as a singular entity?
Perhaps it was that thinking of mine that made my engagements go belly up...who knows, but while I was there in that moment with the two of them, I really did believe in them and their decision to be united with rings and ribbons and a bit of a show to celebrate it. These days we have so many things to be depressed about, it was really nice to have something joyous to share with these two lovely people. And if nothing else, the blue velvet cupcakes were delicious.