As a little girl, I couldn't wait to be an adult.
I watched those grown ups as they go about, doing whatever they wanted, eating what ever they liked and wearing whatever they felt like, and no one stopped them. My little brain back then felt like that was the best thing for me since I would finally be free.
But, look at me today.
I am an adult.
I eat whatever I feel like eating,
I wear whatever I like.
I dress up and go to wherever I feel like, no one stops me.
But, is this what I really wanted?
No one ever told me that being an adult has alot to do with more than just freedom.
No one ever told me that to enjoy those freedoms that I must pay a very huge prize, no one ever told me that as an adult, full responsibility is really needed, how come no one ever talked about the struggles, hustle and tuzzle it takes to be an adult.
How come no one ever told me that to eat where ever you want you would have to work hard for it
No one ever told me that as an adult that if I don't work there would be no food for me to eat talk more of wearing whatever I want.
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Wow!
Why do I feel so decieved and betrayed, why do I feel like the generation before me set me up on this adulthood something.
Why do I feel like this is a whole something different from what I saw them doing. Come on, I am supposed to be free but my life feel more trapped than it has ever been. I am supposed to eat and jollying but suddenly I am consious of my weight, I don't eat much because I don't want to be fat (this was never my problem back then 😔)
Talking about wearing anything I want, back then my image of the right dresses were cute pink gowns and shoes but suddenly they are outdated and I suddenly want to wear some designers that cost a fortune. Wow! Too many surprises with this grown up thing.
Don't even say anything about going to anywhere I want to. I am suddenly uncertain about everything. Would I mingle well, is my dressing proper, what if others show up in more classy dresses and hair. And at the end of the day I'm locked behind my own doors. Still the same doors the little girl from yesterday really want to run out of.
Well after much thought i finally concluded that being an adult has a lot to do with more than just age, being an adult has more to do with consistency, hardwork and commitment. Because your age might be forcing you to be an adult but you just keep pulling yourself back.
Being an adult means working hard, it means struggling, it means pursuing your dreams even when it seems you have hit a dead end. It means not giving up.