I de-capitalized the title, which is better than decapitating it perhaps, as I seem to do with a lot of my online writing lately. I just feel more drawn to lower case, for a while, so it's a good thing this one's got Is.
over the past few days or so, I've assembled a small list of pet grievances that make life feel to me just weirder and weirder. where are we living. what is this world.
one thing i found strange and unpleasant was the morbid way the media, starting with netflix, is bandying around that actor's last words clip. have you seen it? while als is a terrible illness that does need more awareness, i don't think recording a man in its last stages struggling to put together words (theoretically aimed at his daughters) and having it go viral is doing it. the inhumanity of it. here's this man's last words to his kids. because we live in an era where nothing is private, where intimacy needs to go viral if it's to have any meaning at all. it's just madness. the way people are sharing it like it's the best thing on earth? why? from what i've heard, he's not saying anything revolutionary or groundbreaking - be kind, take advantage of every moment, love.
aren't we a bit old to be gawping and applauding such simple words just because someone is dead? and what use, if our understanding of live the moment (as you should because you could, indeed, end up forgetting how to speak in a wheelchair) translates to share it on instagram then spend the next hours checking what reactions you got.
another thing that adds to my sense of confusion and disconnection from this digital world was, listening to a podcast i really enjoy, bella freud's fashion neurosis, the 90 minute recording had to be interrupted three times to tell us how amazing claude ai is and how you should definitely subscribe if you haven't already. i love the show because it blends together psychology and fashion, two subjects i'm interested in, and reveals a very candid, open, intimate and real side of famous faces.
the people who watch this kind of thing, presumably, do so because they enjoy bella's elegance, insight and genuine human anecdotes that are shared. is it really our main issue right now that we don't use enough technology and ai? i hardly think so. if i'm taking these ninety minutes to hopefully connect and find kinship in this kind of dialogue, do i really need a reminder that i should be chatting to ai? it seems mad to me.
another thing i found baffling was, i tried to read a recommended book for a course by one of the professors - sarah hill. talking about hormonal health, periods and other fun stuff targeted specifically at women. something i'm very keen to learn more about. only to have to put it down within the first chapter because she felt the need to clarify she meant "biological females" and meant no disrespect at all, whatsoever, to anyone who might identify as a fruitbat of some kind. i thought, really? you're a scientist, writing a book about how hormones affect the female body specifically, and trying to provide women some help understanding complex stuff, and yet you feel pulled to apologize and perform a public mea culpa for not including anyone who -even if transitioned - wouldn't be in this category anyway?
i find it strange and, as the kids say, cringe, how humanity has become a sort of taboo luxury fetish. how we peddle ai slop to one another and don't feel awful about it. or pretend we don't, anyway. how we're so desperately driven by peer pressure and toeing the line that we say it's blue when it's obviously green.
little, tiny madnesses, but they add up, don't they?
do we really regard nothing as sacred anymore? have we lost the concept of shame? but also, that of nobility? of beauty in our human condition? strange times we're living in, that's for sure, and i felt the need to share. thanks for reading if you've made it this far.
contrary to appearance, i'm actually a really happy, positive sort of person. i'm having a terribly nice day, but dumb shit sure does get even the happiest of us down, don't it.
how's your sunday?
