Well, people look into my life from a tiny window at what I get to see, and my successes fun or work, personal life, whatever it may be and they think I have this great life full of cool things that just fall from the sky onto my lap and they wonder what's wrong with them they can't have those things for themselves but they don't see my failures, dusting myself off and try again and again. They don't see that yeah like the next person, 90% turns to shit but the win are like winning the lottery and it's just a matter of putting yourself out there and keep trying until you get there. And yes, putting yourself out there is uncomfortable and yes it increases the risks as well. I used to wonder why I experience so many shitty hard things to deal with but I have realized, I take more risk but in the end it yields more rewards because of those risks. I like to say prepare for the worst and hope for the best so when bad things happen, it's easier to cope with because I was prepared ahead of time for that scenario. It's all a fine balance. I don't care if I live old or die young, nobody is getting out of here alive I just want a life well lived.