Slowly getting used to the fact that you either post these super cool hikes full of breathtaking natural shots or these kind of existentialist free writes that are so dense, sad and hard to read... This one was especially tough. So sorry about what you guys have been through. Btw you really got this nasty shit twice already? You said ...I doubt my body can handle getting it a third time... Twice and with such brutal symptoms, that sounds like unimaginable torture :(