It has definitely ( again ) been awhile. At this point I've sat here Sooooooooo many times...
Start, Stop, Delete
Rinse and Repeat
Just an absolute 200% pure waste of space.
Also commonly referred to as a clusterfuck.
To be completely honest...
I'm #sofuckinbored of starting, stopping and endlessly pressing that tiny fucking key in the upper right hand side of this laptop that at this stage, I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm once again going to dip my ever so dainty hobbit toes into the tepid water of creation and hopefully kickstart this little brain of mine into something resembling shape, form, possibly even an aneurism.
Prepare your cameras, The END IS NEAR!
That or this continuous mental push will result in a little brown nugget that requires a hot shower, only time will tell.
Breathe deep and join me with a small mental exercise. A journey of infinitesimal proportions, an adventure full of pointless syllables and minor deficiencies of the mind.
A senseless collection of garbled jargon certain to leave the mind in an endless circle. One step forward, One step back in infinite loop. Stationary.
Lets start nice and free, pile in to my magical motionless White mystery van. Plenty of Free Candy inside, I promise. Please keep your appendages inside the vehicle at all times. This might be a bumpy ride.
A small freeform journey with no expectations and no destination. The end of the road is always the same as the beginning and I'm sure you will agree by the time I am finished here, its worth a visit or two.
Strip down your disbelief and lay your imagination bare for me, as we take a static filled field trip to the Hanging Tree.
Of course the rope is already threaded and tied off but I must caution you. Beware that this, the most basic of my rides is the last.
I am in the most simple of terms, grasping at straws.
Was there any point to that last paragraph?
Did any of that make more than passing sense?
Please fill out the following questionnaire.
- Unsatisfactory
- Complete Trash
- A Hatful of shit
- All of the above
Select any and/or all of the options that apply.
Maybe I should just stop here and bury my head in the sand.
So far since I last managed to scrape any words out on here, my home away from home.
I have gotten to enjoy the fruits of death and the weight of depression in ways that are seemingly always new and unique.
The final kick in the balls was even my Cat got cancer. One whole week. That righteous bastard went from licking his balls and stealing food off the countertop, To me having to pull up the decking in front of my house to retrieve him and go to the vet.
From perfect ( purrfect? ) health, Yeah I went there.
To being able to do nothing but hold him while the vet gave him the one way ticket in a syringe.
I owe my buddy Ed for his help there, I wasn't in the best of places at the time and he helped me out alot.
Strangely enough of with the big old stream of death that seems to have followed me around this year, That sucked the most.
As odd as it sounds loosing that fat grumpy bastard of a cat left a bit of a dent in my morale.
It has been a slippery slope.
I'm not complaining, I'm explaining. Like Lucy to Ricky or a Budget Eminem with multiple personalities. ( You may call me Him-and-Him )
So for the last however long it has been, Whichever month I last typed out a string of words on here, I have been living in my own little brain box.
Not exactly scared of typing, but completely uninspired and certainly feeling the weight of my own expectations. Completely incapable of writing something I do not hate instantly.
This post as I said from the beginning, No delete or backspace button used, even left clicked to fix my spellin .
and....
I fuckin Hate it.
Gonna have to kick myself out of it, Take a minute to sit by the water and reflect on myself.
Note to self, Next time wear shorts.
When its done, I'm going to simply publish this shit and have a beer.
So in short the rumours of my untimely demise have been grossly exaggerated. I'm still around and things seem to be shifting in a more positive direction.
I've had a good support network around me keeping me from loosing any more of my marbles, and I've kept myself busy enough. I even kept taking pictures throughout so I have plenty of filler images to pad out posts like these.
A bit of randomness is good to use up some of the clutter in my -What the fuck is that- Folder.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, What I actually mean is, maybe this is all I'm trying to get across...
I'm Back
At least I think I am
Anyway- That's enough of my procrastination , If you managed to make it this far you deserve a medal or a stiff drink.
Probably both.
After all, I managed to stretch this shit out to over a thousand words.
With any luck, the next lot of posts wont be as strained as this shit.
I hope.
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