"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it." — George Carlin
Gender wars is something that I came to know about in 2024, the great bloom of feminists in Nigerian Socials.
Since then, almost every 2 months, a huge case or trend comes to light and we are left amused, shocked, confused and then angry.
That's the actual flow of emotions for the Nigerian Twitter user who comes across a feminist post.
Feminist
/ˈfɛmɪnɪst/
A feminist is an individual who advocates for, supports, or believes in the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes.
A noble endeavor. Truly beautiful and one I stand fully in support of and behind. With 3 sisters, loads of feminine friends and no brothers with little amount of male friends, one can say that I'm always around women.
I'm also in a country where one can say has a history of being innately patriarchal.
The current state of things is sad.
Still we are better than a decade ago and truly we need more feminists.
But..
Nigeria as always when collecting cultures from the west has twisted it, changed its meaning or its original agenda into something else.
Because now why has feminism ≈ misandry.
It started as jokes, simple laughs but now it seems it's become a bit more than that.
Majority of gender related battles started because of sentences that could be better phrased, sparks flying and harsher words said.
This is something I've noticed multiple times and one that I experienced recently which just left me speechless.
Mirabel: The Girl who cried Rape.
This video (click the image to watch) was shared by Mirabel on February 16th and boy did that video have movement!!
Her descriptions of the past incidents were horrific. The whole media was shocked, the feminists were enraged. (There are follow up posts on the same page but I don't want to spam links on here)
It was a full crusade.
Kill the men; burn them; blur them; throw them in a pit, cover the hole with a latch and throw away the key.
It was scary, and their anger although being misdirected and mismanaged was valid.
Until it wasn't...
You see, this story was crazy enough that it got the attention of numerous NGOs and private organizations that were ready to look for the man. Provide her with treatment and some monetary assistance to aid recuperations.
She came to Social Media and voiced out her woes and sorrows and it travelled far. Probably way farther than she thought it would.
Investigations were made on her posts, different dms, different questions, and after a while, the perspective shifted.
The initial chaos and shock had died down and now people were trying to just understand and then the truth came out.
What Happens Next?
This video that dropped on the 16th of February was a rape allegation video made by Mirabel, and proclaimed insomniac and mentally troubled lass.
Her claim was during one of her manic episodes that was induced by the concoctions of drugs and alcohol in her bid to find sleep.
(Crazy, I know.)
It was a national wake up call. In 5 days, Mirabel has been able to take Nigerians through a full rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Shock --> Grief --> Anger --> Doubt --> Shock
The feminists have been waiting and in the 4 days, they had a field day witch hunting men and surprisingly their fellow women too.
Anybody that as much as asked a question about the video became a rape apologist/potential rapist and was blacklisted, shadowbanned, insulted and wished for his/her feminine counterparts to have the same done to them.
It was a whole concept to witness online. I was shocked and amused, because clearly we aren't this deranged.
Then I came across one on Whatsapp, my private social network. I know her, her sisters and her father (one of the best male I've been privileged to know).
She's a self proclaimed feminist, a pretty girl—as most of them usually are—who believes that every man who so much as has a second glance at her has stripped her down with her eyes and held her at 35 different positions unwillingly.
She posted a Tiktok video on her status a day after the whole fiasco had happened that triggered me more than every single thing I've ever seen.
The video's plot was this in a simple sentence.
"I'd rather believe the one who claimed to be raped because I'd be damned to help a rapist go free."
Then I responded by sending her this...
For privacy purposes. I'll address her as Lola while I type out the emotional, senseless conversation that followed.
This message next in quotes is what was sent after my "Also, happy Sunday"
Lola
I was a victim of sexual harassment and when it came out none of my teachers at school didn’t believe me, they all said I enjoyed it that’s why I didn’t report it, but not everyone has the courage to talk about such, before some of those ladies are talking to they are coming from a place too, either them to someone close them have been assaulted, it’s how it goes.
Of course if the case comes out, If the person is proven innocent and our accuser is lying; the accuser should be punished. Nobody is right in making false accusations.
Did you even listen to the video?
She didn't say when it comes out, she doesn't care if the accuser is lying, she just said that till the evidence is brought out that the accuser isn't lying.
Me
Lola, what are we saying now?
What your video clearly said is that she'd rather believe the accuser than the accused in sexual cases. Meaning she'd rather believe a false accuser than to believe a potential rapist.
Potential being the keyword because it can or cannot be.
We shouldn't just be believing anybody without evidence to back up their claims.
I really didn't want to argue this, I just wanted to put it in perspective for you.
Women rape too, just so you know. So if you and your sister where in your home, just chilling and someone bangs on the door and claims your sister raped her/him.
Would you believe the stranger who's accusing or your sister who's a potential rapist.
Lola
What she meant is that she'd rather believe a victim than someone who's accused. Instead of her sitting on her ass and saying let's wait and wait and a predator walks free, she'd rather believe the victim and pin him down.
That's what she meant.
Sometimes when you're angry you can put your words in a way that it's misunderstood but that's what she meant.
I'm sorry for all these instances you are saying. It can never be me.
I'd rather believe the person who's doing the accusing because I've been harassed before and was telling my teachers and they didn't believe me so I can't understand the fact that we'd rather wait for more information before acting on the accuser's wishes and locking up the accused.
If after locking up the accused and it comes up that it was a false accusation, of course I'd be disappointed. Like "Oh, why did she do that to us like that?"
But I can't ever be the one to say "wait let's wait for more information first", because they did that and nothing happened for me.
Everyone is talking from somewhere, so not everyone comes online and just says something, that's how life works, till it happens to someone around you, that's when you'd be able to understand.
And for my sisters. That can never happen, on no earth can someone ever come and accuse my sisters.
My sisters have even been harassed and they didn't say anything about it to anyone because they were scared. We were all just finding out recently.
Me
(Visibly disgusted and amused)
"It can never be you?"
It's all good. I really didn't want to talk much about this, simply because I'm hungry and I haven't eaten.
I just wanted to let you know what I felt because the opinion is stupid and you really shouldn't take it like this.
Because as insensitive as I may sound, you and your sisters aren't the first to be abused, so you should try to forgive.
This is such a scary take to have, you shouldn't allow past experiences to cloud your judgement.
Lola
I didn’t say it’s right, and there are some things that stick with you for life, it didn’t cloud my judgement, it just made me more aware, and how many rape cases in a year are false, it’s wrong to falsely accuse someone but in her case at least she was human enough not to put a face to her stupidity which is why you don’t see me saying anything, like I said under that same post you’re talking about, someone who falsely accuses someone of rape should actually be punished, because falsely accusing someone is not the same as rape but it’s still very bad, cause it traumatizes them too sometimes and some even commit suicide, or become mentally unstable tho it happens rarely, cause out of 100% of rape cases only one or two percent is false
Me
(Intrigued by her ignorance)
"cause out of 100% of rape cases only one or two percent is false"
How did you get this statistic if I may ask😂
It's actually out of 100% of rape cases, 2-4% are proven true.
(Goes on to show a screenshot of proof)
Proven true means led to conviction in my case. And this is just for the United States and United Kingdom that has working Judiciary and Executive services. Imagine just how low that is in Nigeria now.
The chat ended there and she hasn't messaged back since.
She's just one person, it's not fair for me to use her as a basis for other online Nigerian feminists, but her online rants and posts are just like the ones on Twitter and they do use the evils of a single man to prosecute the full gender so why not?
Regardless, if all other Nigerian feminists are like this then I fear for the role this country is going into in the near future.
One where rules and laws and common sense don't matter simply because it's a girl that's crying on video explaining what a man did to her.
Rape all on its own is a sensitive issue. It affects everyone involved very seriously both the raper and the raped.
Because of the seriousness of the vice, it simply must be investigated seriously before a conviction is taken simply because it can be weaponized.
For anyone, being branded a rapist is a social, economical, financial and mental brand. You'll lose it all.
If we acted on a first to shout is the right basis, then what is the need for the law?
A Peep In My Day.
What I'm Listening to now:
It's been a while since I wrote as much as this and well even though I'm just there mentally, in the last few paragraphs, my shuffle brought this song on.
What I'm Watching Now:
I actually started it last week, it has been a pretty mid show, simply because I haven't yet reached the climax of the plot... (I hope so)
As always, the movies are sponsored by my IG feed.
Images are screenshots of their respective Tiktok videos, replies or my chats for context. The header image was made using Canva.
My Instagram page.
