I'm aware that sometimes, people find me to be a bit confronting. Not from my words, but by my actions. By how I live. I'm personally trying to be more accepting of others, continuing to tell
myself, that we're all on our own paths. Experiencing things in very different ways. Understanding that I trigger people, just as much as others trigger me.
It wasn't easy to get to this, to a place where I can accept myself as a trigger. Our egos, are very good at trying to prevent us.
But if I'm to do well in this life, I've got to be aware, with those uncomfortable truths. I've got to try and keep moving forward, even when I feel the energies of others tugging at me. Pulling me in and then making me believe that I need to intervene or help in some way. But this is again the ego talking (mostly), believing that they need me. When what's needed most is self responsibility.
Moving away, from this mindset that we need to always turn to others for help. That we're not capable, of taking charge of our own lives.
I know my limits and finally I'm learning to respect them. By reaching out for help when I need to. (Something else, that wasn't easy to achieve.) But I am also pretty independent. I've spend most of my life educating myself on how best, to not only survive, but really live this life. A life, which is more immersed in nature, than modern society.
Where I take charge.
Today I visited some friends, who have a beautiful home and wonderful piece of land. Last year I helped them plant some trees for their food forest, today I went to help them get some winter beds ready. I've not really got much growing space where I am, so I'm going to help them in theirs and they are also giving me a few beds to use for myself as well.
It felt really good to be working with the soil again. Cleaning out the beds, adding manure and then mulch. Knowing, I'm helping to improve the soil, soil that will then end up feeding two families. The plan is to plant potatoes in two of the beds and then plant greens, leeks, beetroot and maybe some carrots, in the others. I've been growing some food in pots, but it's very limited and I've a family of 4 to feed.
So I really appreciate my friends offering me the space to grow and also to grow with them, that way we are helping each other out.
Today I got reminded, how different my lifestyle is to others. (Not everyone of course). It can make people feel uncomfortable, as the way I life, is in stark contrast to theirs and ends up putting theirs in the spotlight. But this works both ways really. As long as you are happy with your life, then its all good. But when you're not, it can be painful.
I am, in no way saying that my lifestyle is better, just that it is the best for me. It's not about my lifestyle anyway, it's about being true to yourself and not giving into fear. Being unapologetically you! ( And feck the rest!)
