My parents had me in their 40s and my only sibling has got good 14 years on me, that literally makes me the baby of the house. It also means everyone's becoming old right before me. While that is a good thing, because old age is a gift, it is also a scary reality for me.
Apart from my new family since getting married, this little family of mine is all I really have and I can swear they will always have my back. They're the real definition of 'being loved at home' and their love has made me feel secure all these years. I've had thoughts of a time when I wouldn't have them within reach but I try not to dwell on such.
However, seeing members of my family for the first time in while has me deep in thoughts about the future and being the last of the house of four. My parents and sibling look a lot older than I remember and it is a huge shock to me what difference two years look like. Despite the inevitable ageing, I think my parents ought to look better. Their health hasn't been the best and even the pictures and video I had seen of them before now didn't prepare me for the face to face meeting.
My mother has a lot of fears about her health and seeing her in person makes me understand her fears. I can barely look at her for long without my eyes welling up. I can barely look at both of them without running to a corner to cry. I'm supposed to be having a happy time with family but instead, I'm very sad and afraid. I want to help my mum around the house and hear her whine at me for doing something wrong, but she has little energy to even talk for long.
I have tried to keep up a bold face since I've been here and reassure her as always that she will be better in no time. She caught me crying today and ended up being the one reassuring me instead that she's fine and better now. I wish things were different but they aren't, so I can only hope for better and work hard to make my parents be comfortable in their old age.
My mum says she's lived most of her life and now I have to live mine to stand on my own. She didn't fail to remind me I was born for greatness and crowned it with prayers for me and the family. It was good to hear that but it's not stopping the tears as I sit in the dark in this balcony, being fed upon by raging mosquitoes while I cry thinking of my ageing parents.