Relationship blogging is something I do outside the hive chain, I have listened to various relationship stories but none of them has been as touching as one I heard over the weekend. After hearing this story, I concluded that there would be more to certain behavior of humans than meets the eye, there should definitely be some psychological/scientific explanation for some of these behaviors, so I started my research on the topic and Yes, I was correct, some of these weird behavioral patterns in humans have an explanation attached to it.
Before we get deep into the topic, you may be curious to know the story and I definitely would not deny you, a married man who lives outside Nigeria, paid his wife a surprise visit on her birthday, after the celebration, his wife picked up his phone and she concluded that this man has been cheating on her. Out of anger, she posted on her social media page, that she had taken enough from the man but this time around, she will ensure that their families weep over them both before the next morning.
The man was sleeping innocently without knowing that his wife has found out what should have been his biggest secret (if there was any), she pulled the gas close to the bed space and left it on, and she locked the doors and windows, created an escape route for herself and set the house on fire. By the time neighbors were able to put out the fire and rush the man to the hospital, it was already too late, he did not survive it. The wife has been on the run and no one knows where she is ever since the incident happened.
I do not support cheating/unfaithfulness, but my question is, why didn’t she think about divorce, why did she conclude that the best thing for her to do was to set him on fire? It is quite disturbing to find out that people actually think in this direction, but I also feel there is more to it than meets the eye and certainly, science has an appropriate description for certain behavioral patterns.
Trust is an integral part of a relationship and when trust is broken, the victim is hurt and pained. Jealousy is also normal but when the act of jealousy gets extreme then there is something wrong somewhere, what could it be?
Have you heard about Delusional Disorders?
Delusional disorders are described in people who have a certain conviction or belief that is different from reality. On some occasions, their suspicion may contain elements of truth but it could also be from their imagination. Whether the situation is real or not, people with delusional disorders do not care about real-world evidence regardless of how genuine it looks. 1
A delusion is an unshakable belief in something that’s untrue. The belief isn’t a part of the person’s culture or subculture, and almost everyone else knows this belief to be false.
Delusional disorders are of different types, the description of each delusional disorder is dependent on the attributed behavior of the victim.
• Grandiose delusional disorder: These people usually feel more than they are worth, they claim to have achieved more than they have actually achieved in reality. They may believe that they are responsible for a great occurrence or discovery.
• Erotomanic delusional disorder: Those with this disorder usually have a famous person who they think is seriously in love with them when in reality the person may not even know that they exist. They may stalk the person’s movement in an attempt to get close to him or her, you will often see the pictures of this celebrity on their phone, everywhere in their room and they daily fantasize about this celebrity also.
• Somatic delusional disorder: Those in this category always think they have a health issue even when they are fine, they always complain about something seriously wrong with them.
• Persecutory delusional disorder: Those with this disorder think regularly that someone is trying to hurt them, they may feel that someone who shows them nothing but genuine love is trying to harm them, and this makes them regularly report to authorities, therefore raising a false alarm.
• Jealous delusional disorder: This type of disorder is associated with people who believe that their partner is cheating on them without having concrete evidence to back them up.
• Mixed delusional disorder: People with mixed personality disorder have two or more types of disorder combined.
This article will be focused more on jealous delusional disorder because that is the behavioral syndrome I am more familiar with.
People with jealous delusions are always convinced that their partner is unfaithful to them, whether there is proof to back it up or not. There are times when their suspicions may be right, but regardless of the visible evidence presented to them, they just have their minds fixed on the fact that their partner is unfaithful. This disorder can destroy a valuable relationship and even cause harm to the people involved.
It is important for us to know that, clinically, there are two types of jealousy; there is normal jealousy and there is delusional jealousy. Normal jealousy is sub-divided into two; emotional and sexual jealousy.
Emotional jealousy is experienced when there is a real or emotional connection with a rival and sexual jealousy is triggered when someone’s partner gets sexually involved with a potential rival.
Envy and jealousy are also two words that are confused for one another. Jealousy should be used for those who are in a relationship, while envy is the desire for something you do not have.
Jealousy could be likened to the fear of not wanting to lose someone, while envy, on the other hand, is the desire to gain something that you do not currently have in your possession. 2
Those with Obsessive jealousy syndrome, do not necessarily believe that their partners have a past history of being unfaithful, but they see threats of infidelity in the present and in the future which often results in anxiety. While those with delusional jealousy are certain that their partners have recently been unfaithful to them. If this issue is left untreated, delusional jealousy could result in a case of extreme possessiveness, mistrustful, controlling, explosive behavior marked with a deep sense of desperation.
When jealousy gets extreme, there is a great possibility to develop possessiveness, relationships that contain these elements would often end in violent attacks, harassment, stalking and even worse situations like death, just like the story I shared with you at the beginning of this post. Delusional jealousy should not be ignored at all for the sake of everyone who is involved.
How do we identify someone who has jealous delusions?
A person who has jealous delusions will possess one or more of these traits;
- Always eager to know who their partner is communicating with over the phone.
- Regularly searching their partner’s belonging to get a confirmation of
infidelity. - Trying to limit their partner’s activities outside the home, they always want them to be inside.
- Controlling their partners emotionally through blackmail.
- Regularly accusing the partner of actions they have no sure proof about.
- Keeping their partner away from friends and family.
- Trying to limit their partner’s activities on social media and regularly checking through their phones and social media handles to be sure about their convictions.
- Constantly stalking their partner.
- Self-harm behaviour especially when the other partner threatens to leave the relationship.
At this point, I am extremely curious about the reason why people have delusion disorder, let’s explore some reasons.
• Sometimes, it is hereditary, those who have a history of a family member with a delusion disorder is more likely to have one as well. According to researchers, a parent with these disorders could easily pass it unto their biological children.
• Certain abnormalities in some parts of the brain might also lead to the development of delusional disorders. The imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain can result in the formation of delusional symptoms.
• Past hurt from a relationship could lead to hypersensitivity and ego. Defense mechanisms developed like projection, reaction formation and even denial are some theories that could result in delusional disorder.
• Brain injury and brain diseases can also result in delusional behaviour in certain cases and could lead to the development of head injuries.
• The abuse of substance intake and alcohol could also result in this delusion disorder. 3,1
The good news, is there is a treatment for delusional disorder.
Basically, the treatment for delusional is psychotherapy mostly talk therapy, medications are not also left out, but delusional disorders are seriously resistant to treatment with medications alone so just medications would not work here.
It takes people who are close to them to help them seek treatment, because those with delusional disorders are not even aware that they have such problems. In few cases, those who have become harmful or who are at risk of hurting themselves may have to be admitted to the hospital until their condition is stabilized.
A psychologist or psychiatrist would provide support, guidance, and education to the person with the problem as well as their family. With proper therapy, those with this symptom will be able to identify the warning signs and develop a prevention plan. There are different types of psychotherapy that could help people live above these conditions.
- Individual psychotherapy would help the patient understand the reason behind the behavior, then correct any underlying thinking that has become distorted.
-Family-focused therapy: This therapy is for people who have delusional disorders and their families too. The psychologist educates the family and goes through a training on problem-solving skill with them.
-Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This therapy is a goal-oriented one, the mental health professional in charge of the case takes a close look at the thought and emotions of the patient, then they will be able to understand how the thoughts of these people affects their actions. With CBT, these victims will be able to unlearn negative thoughts and negative behaviours, they will also learn how to adopt a more healthy thought, thinking and behavioural habits.3
Conclusion.
There is no known way to currently prevent delusional disorder, but early diagnosis and treatment would help reduce the possibility of causing harm to self, friends and family. The complications of delusional disorder that are left untreated could result in Depression, social isolation, legal issues, and self-harm to self and even to others.
For more information.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3524690/
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9599-delusional-disorder
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/aspects-of-morbid-jealousy/06CBB7BF78CC43C785AE6F7C0F0046C9
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1440-1819.2012.02386.x
https://neuro.psychiatryonline.org/doi/pdf/10.1176/jnp.10.4.472
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/jealous-delusion
Hi, I am Tobi a writer, speaker, relationship blogger, and lover of good music. I love making friends and learning from people. Want to hear me speak on relationships and general life issues, you can find my podcast channel Here and I also have a youtube channel where you can listen and watch any episode for free, do not forget to subscribe and share with friends. I sincerely appreciate every love I get from members of the community and do well to keep them coming.