Does pandemic really over? It has been 29 months and 5 days since I got to know this pandemic that started in my country March 16, 2020. Since 2020 started, it was all over the news that in China, there is already a locked down. It was starting in Korea too and I have the strong feeling that my country is the next.
I was included in the Skeletal workforce at the office. Skeletal workforce are only selected individual that will work onsite and in the office. I remember we are only 14 people at the office that time. Our only protection, PPE, double facemask and face shield. We worked everyday but at soon as 4pm strike, we will need to get home as the curfew is at 6pm.
Every morning, the news that we learned everywhere was about the number of cases and the number of deaths. It was like a horror film that you always feel the thrill and suspense. I gave my best as part of the skeletal team. I was doing the work of 4 to 5 people as most of our colleague are at home. I gave my all as I believe in the mission and vision of company. I feel passionate about my job and at the same time, I am always horrified.
July 12,2020, I started to feel a very intense sharp headache. It was Sunday and all I did was to lay down in bed and my eye were closed. I was not sleeping but I cannot bear the intense pain despite that I was drinking pain reliever every 4 hours. I advised our team that I am on Sick leave because I know I cannot perform my job in this condition. I had fever, sore throat, muscle sore, headache, coughs and cold. I have all the symptoms.
July 23, 2020, we have a weekly Rapid test at the office, It was mandatory. I was positive to Antigen test. It reflects I have infection. July 24,2020, me and my officemate went to PGH for Swab test. It was the first and the painful swab test I felt. July 27,2020, the results came and I am positive to Covid19.
My Anxiety went to the next level. Imagine before that when someone had been spotted to have Covid19 it will be a big hassle as their names and their close contact were all be submitted to the nearest LGU. The LGU had facilities to separate the infected from their family to lessen the spread of the virus and they will stay in the facility until they are negative. Imagine the stress and pressure me and my family had during that time. Not all LGU can do their job well, also the neighbors were on panic because their knowledge about Covid is little that they thought I should be buried alive because I am infected.
I just stayed home and isolate myself away from my family. I only have my dog with me. I was left alone but my family is on other room. I was alone all the time. I worked at home but when the work is done, I feel depress. That is the number one that could strike you when you are alone and sick. I felt really ill. I was questioning what went wrong. I prayed a lot. I fight the feeling of darkness in me.
I do my outlet to control and adjust to my situation. I watched Korean Dramas and BTS content but in the middle of it, I will find myself crying. However, the depression only lasted for 3 days. God didn't allow me to stop being what I started and helped me to recover and accept my situation. Just one morning I realized that I am still breathing and I need to recover fast for my family. I did. I helped myself. I fought the virus inside of me.
August 10,2020, after more than 14 days, I went to Chinese General hospital for another Swab. It was a long queue and I was very tired because there were lots of people there. The process before were very long and tiring. I hate everything about it.
August 14,2020, the results came and I was Negative. It was a blessing. I was a battle I won! I am happy that I didn't get to infect my family. I am glad that people at work became understanding of my situation. Everything that happened made me a strong person.
After two years, at present, I was at home since Monday because I was positive for Antigen test again, but very mild only. I felt the flu-like symptoms last week and was required to isolate. Hopefully, I will be negative on Antigen Test on Monday to come back to work at the office. It brings me back to the feeling two years ago, that is why I shared this to you.
Covid experience is really painful, especially to those who lost their loved ones. This is something I cannot forget. I taught me a lesson. It made me depress. It made me realize that I am not taking care of myself. I made me feel coward but it leads me to having a courage that despite the lows of life, even if it is the deepest lows, we can climb up and walk again. We just need the our faith and renew our strength. Also, it is required to be true to ourselves, on how we really feel. Acceptance is needed because bad things happen no matter how positive you might be.
Also, this is what God said to me. I will be back down with all the challenges of life, but he will always see it, he will always be there to help me stand up, brush the dirt and guide me to walk again. He says that when I feel weak, it is okay as long as the next action is to be strong because there will be another challenge that will come along.