It's been 14 years and 300 days since I got my little wire fox terrier. I would like to say it seems like yesterday, but it doesn't. Lately, those days seem to be moving further and further away from me.
I do remember how he knocked his small leg on the glas window, begging me to rescue him from confinement. It was love at first sight. Being young and careless, I walked to the cashier, paid with a credit card using monthly installments and left the shop with a baby in my arms. I recall feeling guilty for buying a dog, instead of taking a rescue like I did in the past, but you don't choose who you love, right?
Right, and because at the time I was also in love with a guy and he had plans that didn't involve Fox, and I had to work for 16 hours per day... I sort of left Fox at my parents' care. My father's mainly. Who was strongly opposed to me getting a dog cause he knew what it would mean for him.
So, I became a late evening and weekend mommy. My mom (
Until, the 3rd of January, 2018. Exactly 4 years ago, my father died and left us forever. And Fox was the only living breathing thing I had left from him.
Of course, my father's passing turned my life upside down, I quit my job, did all sorts of things I didn't think I'll ever think of doing, but the most important of all was to step in my father's shoes and take care of those that would miss him the most.
And FOX was one of them. Fox was 11 at the time. Soon after my father died, Fox developed a cancer. It took some time to become noticeable, but a year after he was diagnosed.
When the vet told me, I freaked out. I cried so hard in my car, I could barely see where I was going. But, we made it. I got him operated and though he seemed weak for weeks after the operation, a few months after we would be playing together on the beach like none of this had happened.
Well, not none. After the surgery, he seemed to be responding less and less when I was calling his name. I began shouting louder and louder. He was losing his hearing. Due to the antibiotics, he got recurrent ear infections and gastrointestinal problems as well. I had to treat his ears - and still do sometimes, and establish a new diet and probiotic treatment to regulate his body functions again. Which meant I had to cook his meals myself, which is perfectly fine for me, but maybe not so much fun for him!!!
But, we went through that too! He reached 14 years old, and yeah he had a few problems but they weren't life threatening. I mean the dog was walking up and down the building's stairs. They were many, but he could do it!
Until he couldn't. At some point he started waiting by the lift for the door to open. He'd give me a stinky eye, if I even looked towards the stairs. One day, he didn't want to get up from his bed. Not even to pee. He wouldn't come to eat or drink. The doctor said he had developed osteoarthritis. Ugh... But, again a solution was found. We gave him cortisone.
It worked miracles, but corticosteroids are hormones, they create dependency and supress the immune system. Fox went on and off when needed, until he just needed them at all times. In the meantime, I paid about a thousand dollars in supplements and alternative therapies, to help him escape that treatment. I had been searching for an injection that was used abroad in Greece, but none of the vets in Athens had it. We tried Onsior instead. An anti-inflammatory pill, specialized for pets' osteoarthritis. My hopes were soon shuttered down, as Foxes'stomach could not tolerate it. Combined with summer heat waves, Fox once again would not get up to eat or drink anything.
The vet told me that we would probably need to... NO! NO WAY!
I got some prosciutto di parma, wrapped it around the cortisone pill, and my Foxaki was up again. As for the heatwaves in Athens, I treated them too. I took him to an island. Naxos. The air was cooler, the oxygen was better, the beach was great and Fox wanted to live again. He wasn't running, but he was walking. And he was eating and drinking and he seemed to enjoy himself.
But is was not a stable thing. From time to time he'd suffer getting up and walking. And... I'd lift him on stairs.
But as I said earlier cortisone is not for long. By September, Fox developed bloody diarrhea that went on for days. We stopped the treatment immediately, the vet in Naxos treated the diarrhea but what would we do about the osteoarthritis.
LUCKILY, the injections I was looking for, had become available in Greece and the vet in Naxos was one of the first to deliver them. He injected Librela for 10kg in Fox AND WHAT A MIRACLE!!! My Fox was running again! Can you believe it? He was RUNNING on the beach again. Ok, not for more than 5 minutes. Then he'd sit and cuddle.
BUT! Though he was running, he didn't seem to know where to run to, because he couldn't see where the ball went. Fox developed cataracts, pretty rapidly. Especially on his right eye. By the time we were back to Athens, though he'd walk with ease, he'd fall on stairs he didn't notice. He was too scared to go to the park anymore and prefered to stay in the garden. We continued the injections, but realizing he could not see well (if at all) was so painful to me. I asked around for surgery, but the vets said he was too old for surgery.
During his latest visit to the vet, my little Fox was diagnosed with heart disease. His left heart valve is not working properly. I could hear him cough from timeto time, but since he had kennel cough since he was a baby, I had no idea that this could be something different. We got him on meds right away. The vet said that with proper treatment some dogs may live for years after the diagnosis.
In the meantime, for his cataracts I decided to try Lanomax eye drops. I had been reading the reviews and they seemed promising. So I ordered it online, I paid $150 dollars for a vial, another $ 150 for Greek customs and had to give an official oath and a doctor's prescription to put the authorities at ease that I wouldn't use the drops myself. WHAT THE Fck do you care?! G...
On the 28th of December I began treatment. For a couple of days, the treatment without problems, but on New Year's Fox was trying to bite me to prevent me from putting the drops into his eyes. His eyes were sort of red and sticky so I gave up a couple of days. Yesterday, his eyes were OK and his eyesight seemed a bit better (though it may be wishful thinking) but I was reluctant to place him under this pressure again, given that we literally fought last time. He bit me, I placed extra effort to keep his head steady...ugh!!! What a mess. He wouldn't cuddle with me anymore.
Today, I woke up determined to begin eye treatment again, but my Fox won't eat anything. He doesn't want to go to the garden, he moves around reluctantly.
Could it be that librela has just stopped working?
On the 4th anniversary of my father's passing, my dog is sick again and I can't help thinking that I am doomed to go through loss again no matter how hard I try to fight it. My heart aches and I just wish there's something I can do, to magically take away the pains of old age, but I just can't.
There's only one thing I can do;