Last Picture of You

Note: Sorry if I will post a sad story but I am saying this ahead so that if you don't want to feel down or sad the whole day then you can just skip this. I just want to share this story of our Bulinggit. He live for just a short time but I really hope he still live Happy in that very short time (˘･_･˘), with us.

I experienced this to my Joko before so never again that I want to go back to that same scenario. But who am I kidding, even if I distance myself to them I can't completely ignore them. For sure you can relate too right? We can't just ignore their cuteness. Their wagging of tail whenever they will see us. And those face like just by looking at them you can tell that they are happy, excited and so so glad that they have us.

Meet Bulinggit, bulinggit or tiny one. But Mom call him Ram Ram. But I love to call him Bulinggit coz I think it is very fitting to his face and his cuteness. To 9 siblings, he is like the introvert one. He's kind of snobbish too and he won't come closer if ever you call for him. And because I am trying not to get close to them, I am distancing myself to them including him.

But, it didn't last because I really find him cute and adorable that I want to baby him always. And that's where it started. Whenever he will see me and whenever I will call him he will wag his tail so much as in too much that I even thought it will come off to his body, lol. He is also sweet once you get close to him coz he love to kiss. She will kiss me everywhere in my face and I love to put him in my lap and let him play to my short, as in biting them until it leaves a mark there.

In that picture he is just a month old but he can already climb to the stairs. I mean all of them can. I just love watching them trying their best to get on the stairs and later on fail, lol. They are the cutest. So, in short. I got a little closer to Bulinggit. I am happy always going to Mama's house. I am still far but I will already call him and he will just look at me and later he will wag his tail for me once he recognize me. I really find him cute when hes doing that. If only I can, I want to have him.

So after 2 month I think, Mama decided to give them already. She has to, coz she can't sustain their needs. They are eating rice already. Their Momma can't feed them all with hee breast milk because there's too many of them. Lucky coz My Mommy D's sister got the 3 little one so what's left is only 6. Sadly, 2 of them died. Then another 1 from my Mommy D's sister also die. Then 4 is only left on my Mama. And she also decided to gave the other 3. They are together too.

And that is where everything change. The jolly Bulinggit become quite. He become sad and sadder and sadder everyday that is why I am taking a time to have a play time with him. But still he want to be alone always. Mama is regretting that she didnt leave his other sibs so that he has someone that he can still play. But we already gave them so there's nothing we can do anymore. So we just did what we can to make him happy even gave him delicious foods coz he become picky too.

He is still eating until July 19. As you can see on the photo he looks thinner now. And you can also see the sadness on his face. It's like he is always sad and he is looking far. I feel sad for him but really, we are doing our best to make him feel love. But I guess that's not enough. Well, I can slightly understand him specially if he is close to his siblings like everyday they would play and run around the whole place. And then all of a sudden everything becomes quite.

He don't eat and doesn't play around anymore and he just chose to stay in his bed sleeping all day. We just let him, he just stop eating so what choice do we have but to also just let him. We don't have that much of money to bring him to a bet and seriously, we don't have a vet here in our place. Sad but that's the reality. But the good side is he is still drinking a lot of water. But even that, even that is not enough to make him stay alive. It's just (｡•́︿•̀｡) heartbreaking.

And then July 22, in the morning I asked Mama again if how is Bulinggit. I didn't need an answer because I already saw him. Lying on that thin wood gasping for air. Mama covered him with that thing maybe to hide the wailing of the our little Bulinggit. But I can't help myself from looking at him just for the last time. I look at him having difficulty in breathing so I talk to him and caress his body. "Go now Bulinggit. You can go now." That's all I can say because I don't want him to suffer anymore.

And after that I saw Mama digging in front of the Atis Tree. Then I knew then that he really leave us for good. Sad sad I really got a little sad because I got a little closer to him already. Why he has to leave too early. Why he let me experience being love by him if he will leave us in the end. Or maybe it is really our fault for separating him with his siblings. It is our fault for not giving him enough love and for not admitting him to a pet clinic. Losing someone is really hard no?

(｡•́︿•̀｡)

Last July 23, I took his last Picture.

You will never be forgotten Bulinggit. .

ಥ_ಥ

Sorry for making you all sad in the morning. It's just that I miss playing with him already. I miss babying him and carry him in my arms. I missed the way he lay his head in my chest and let me pet him. Ahhhh, sometimes I will go to Mama's house just to asked where is Bulinggit. Coz you see, I do that often when I can't see him walking freely just everywhere. And now he's gone (｡•́︿•̀｡). I hope he is happy now to pet wonderland.