That's right, I don't want to make use of the word “boyfriend” anymore.
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Before now, I would wonder why ladies who are physically and emotionally abused by their partner still refuse to leave and keep on making excuses for their partner’s in order to secure the relationship.
Not until I found myself in one, then I knew it was easier said than done.
A toxic partner doesn't necessarily have to be the man, some women are also overbearing too you know.
However, my own experience is one story that I will never forget. In it I have my biggest regret, an achievement and my inspiration.
Being with my ex best friend was a mental torture itself, he had the habit of making one feel inferior and always says a particular statement “you're just a child who's bound to fail without me”.
He believed that he was my savior and I was indirectly guilt tripped into having that mentality too. I felt my life would be useless and would indeed make mistakes in his absence. I wouldn't dare to do anything without his permission and would sometimes go against my parents just to please him.
It was one hell that I was forever ready to endure if he had not cut ties with me. And at that period he ended things up, i still went back begging to be taken back even if it were to be the girl at the corner.
That day was however the last day i cleaned the tears off my eyes and told myself never to call or chat him up again.
My decision to let go of him completely earned me my freedom. I vowed never to depend on anyone and never allow myself to get frustrated to the point of desperation.
Even though I couldn't get back all that I lost to him, I at least got myself to create a better and proper lady out of me.
Well I guess it was just me over-thinking because at the end, when he noticed my carelessness towards him, he began calling over and over again.. These should be about five to six months after, but it was useless all the same.
And to date, even if I am at my lowest, when I remember the words spoken back then, some of which I am ashamed of even writing, Hehehe…
I wouldn't give in to desperation and make his words come true, rather I would keep striving harder to make a good and sustainable life for myself that would give a loud slap to all my enemies.