Every time, after a chance meeting and communication with a familiar person, whom I have not seen for several years, I catch myself on the inner feeling of discomfort, as if something is wrong... And, listening to my soul, I realize that I was not myself, the real one, and involuntarily adjusted to the former image that the person had already formed about me.
Is that right?
Yes, to some extent conforming is an inherent duty of every person while he or she is in society. But the need to conform is also something that can prevent many people from changing and becoming who they want to be.
"Up to a certain point, reputation is a great thing. After that, it's a torment." (Robert Asprin)
Because by forcing ourselves to conform to our social reputation, we often begin to behave the way our environment - our family, our coworkers, our friends and acquaintances - expects us to behave. For fear of being misunderstood and unaccepted, we pretend, giving up a part of ourselves. The part of ourselves that wants to be new, different and spontaneous.
We hide even from those closest to us, because if I hide behind a mask under which no one will recognize me, I won't have to deal with who I am..
And over time, we trust others' attitudes toward us more than we realize who we really are. And this can lead us away from our personal authentic selves and prevent us from moving toward our own goals.
Ask yourself - who is controlling you and your opinion of yourself? You or your society? Are you unique and independent, or is your identity a projection based on the projections of others?
"Worry more about your character than your reputation, for your character is who you really are, whereas your reputation is only what others think of you." (John Wooden)
So if you want to change your life, you must be decisive and courageous by openly manifesting the changed part of your personality.
And to make your reputation and character match, focus on your current identity. You may not have noticed how it has changed yourself. And now your urge for personal freedom is constantly being replaced by the comfort of conformity. Isn't that why you've become so hard and uncomfortable in your usual social circle?..
So if your new identity wants something different, do it! Defeat the societal oppression that keeps you caged and stifles your potential. Become yourself - real to yourself and new to others.
So that when we look back, we don't regret having lived a life that can't be called our own..