Sonia Khan had won almost all the National awards for her first-ever writing. It was a script for a drama. She was nominated as the best writer in some international awards as well. She had been attending gatherings and ceremonies one after the other for many days. Everywhere she was applauded tremendously. People were in awe to see a twenty one year-old girl making waves and touching the heights that is not even reached by many experienced writers.
It was one such ceremony today. Surrounded by cameras and journalists, answering their questions she had a smile on her face. The smile had neither pride nor happiness. It was merely a social smile-a smile that is fabricated for the display of manners. Meanwhile, a journalist asked her, “It is said that everything has a price. Is there anything that you have to pay for achieving such a pinnacle in the beginning of your career?”
The question made her blank for a while as if there was nothing but void in her heart.
Click. Click. Click. The cameras were clicking. The lights were flashing. With those flashes and clicks, Sonia’s mind was revisiting numerous moments of her past.
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She was in the operation theatre. A van had hit her as a result of which her legs were fractured and her 6 weeks pregnancy was aborted. She was in a critical condition. Doctors were trying to save her life. The operation was successful but she was still not out of danger.
She did not remember how many days she spent in ICU. She was apparently unconscious, but she was in anguish- a pain only she knew she was in. The injuries on her body were nothing in comparison to the wounds on her soul.
After some time she started recovering but she didn’t want to recover. If there was anything she desired, it was to finish her life.
She reminded of the sessions with a psychiatrist- the session of continuous 30 days in which she didn’t speak a single word as if she did not know how to speak. She hated her life. She hated the world. She hated everyone and everything. She was angry with God. She asked Him several times, “If You did not have anyone to protect me in my life why You sent someone to save me when I was about to kick the bucket? Why didn’t you let me die?”
The truth was that Sonia was not struck by the van accidentally. She intentionally came in front of it; it was a suicide attempt. After hitting her, the van driver did not stop but ran away. A middle-aged woman happened to pass by the road at that time. She saw Sonia lying on the road, bleeding excessively. She was Mrs. Kamal, a well known social worker, who took her to the hospital.
Mrs. Kamal did not leave her alone in the hospital but took very good care of her. When she couldn’t find any information about Sonia’s family she brought her at her home. Sonia was like a living dead. She had no interest in any activity. She didn’t even speak anything. Mrs. Kamal put her utmost efforts to bring her back to life. She desperately wanted her to become normal again.
Mrs. Kamal told Sonia that she took after her daughter. Her husband and her daughter had died in a plane crash. Mrs. Kamal felt like she had got her daughter again in Sonia’s shape. She wanted Sonia to be back to life at every cost but Sonia herself had no interest in living. Mrs. Kamal didn’t lose her hopes. She strived hard to let her be out of her sorrows. Finally, she was successful in breaking the shells Sonia was in. Sonia started talking to her. She unraveled the torment she faced for a long time- the torture that her past was filled with.
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Sonia did not belong to a rich family but they were living a prosperous life. Her father kept her like a princess. Happiness and love- they were the emotions she only knew of; but life was not very much fortunate for her. One day her father got a viral infection that took his life. It was not a man who had died; it was the family’s sanctuary that passed away.
At the age of nine, she started experiencing the dark shades of the world. Each passing day was darker than before. After the death of her father, the family was homeless. They went to their relatives but no one was ready to provide them a respectable living. Her mother wasn’t qualified enough to acquire a good job.
The civilized society and its good people had turned into monsters for them. She had a younger brother who died of T.B. due to the unavailability of proper health care. They were hardly living from hand to mouth.
The financial deprivation was not that much troubling as was the taunting of so-called noble society. The life of a lonely woman with a daughter was like a sheep surrounded by a pack of wolves. Her mother used to be bullied and harassed on daily basis. Sonia saw her mother crying often. She did not understand everything but she could feel helplessness. The taunting words of people might not make complete sense to her but they were painful.
There came a day when she felt life was going to be better again. Her mother got married. Their financial circumstances were sound. Moreover, they were not now bullied. Her father displayed great care for both the members of the family. However, her sense of salvation didn’t live longer.
The illusion of security broke the day when the door of her room was opened at night. The new husband of her mother was a beast in disguise. He first dreaded and harassed her; then finally molested her.
She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to react. A girl of 12 years, suffering from the brutalities of life, didn’t have any strength to raise her voice. Her mother had two more babies by then. She did not have much time for her daughter.
The molestation was not a single day incident; it became a leisure activity for her step-father. He would often get opportunities to grasp her. 6 years of her life passed this way. Her soul was full of bruises. She had difficulty falling asleep. The nightmares wouldn’t let her take rest. She wanted to run away from this house but where she could go. She remembered how people tortured them after the death of her father. She started suffering from psychotic depression.
Life didn’t stop giving her afflictions. It had some more tribulations. Once, she fell badly ill. Her mother took her to a doctor. The doctor dropped a bomb on their heads. Sonia was pregnant; and this was the time when she revealed to her mother what she had been suffering for years. But………
Her mother couldn’t survive the truth. She had a heart attack that took her life. Sonia was now alone in this world of so-called nobles. She knew nobody would believe that her pious looking step-father was responsible for her pregnancy. She had no way out to get rid of all this but taking her life.
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Telling this all to Mrs. Kamal, she was crying bitterly. She was repeatedly saying, “I have nothing in my life but deadly pains and sorrows. Nothing, nothing at all.”
Mrs. Kamal let her cry as much as she wanted. When she calmed down, Mrs. Kamal affectionately hugged her and said, “Will you do something for me?” She looked at her questioningly. Mrs Kamal continued, “Write down everything you went through, all your emotions, all your fears, all your desires. Write each and every thing that has accumulated in your heart.” She paused for a while, held her hand and asked her looking at her face, “You will write, won’t you?”
“I don’t know,” Sonia babbled in response.
“You will, my dear. You will." Mrs. Kamal hugged her again.
After some time, Sonia started writing. Oh! It was not easy. It was akin to scratching her wounds with a sharp knife. At many points she tore the papers. Sometimes, she would scream loudly.
At other times she wept quietly for hours. However, Mrs. Kamal kept on encouraging her for writing.
She had filled hundreds of pages writing her heart out. This writing journey relieved her from the inner suffocation. It acted like a ventilator. It had a healing effect for her mental health.
She was now a much better person. Calm and composed. Not tempted to commit suicide any more. One day Mrs. Kamal came to her holding a stack of papers. “I have read each of your word and felt your pain. Your life certainly had been full of miseries. What has happened cannot be changed but the future is yet to make.................... My child! You can make the most of your sufferings to earn everything you want.”
Sonia looked at her quietly seeking further explanation. Mrs. Kamal continued, “One of my friends is a drama producer. Your writing has enough potential to turn into a play. I want you to turn your writings into a drama script...... will you do it?”
“Yes, I will,” Sonia replied
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“Ma’am, what have you to pay for this fame?” The journalist asked again. His voice brought her back to the present. Her smile deepened. However, this time it was not merely a social smile but there was pang in it. In an emotionless voice, she replied
“Nothing special. I had some woes. I just sold them.”
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This is my entry for dreem-wotw. I have used four word prompts: time, illusion, sanctuary, and blank.
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P.S. I have written this story with my cultural context in mind. Some of the happenings might not be relatable for readers belonging to other cultures. That’s why I feel it important to point out here.
Sex out of wedlock is not acceptable in the society. People might be doing it behind the curtains but publically it is not accepted. The irony is that a woman is deemed responsible, even if she is a victim, for losing her chastity if she gets pregnant (as it brings the matter in front of publicl . Such a woman is treated like a filth.
Another point is that the life of a young widow is not easy at all, especially when she doesn’t have a family to support her. Life of a woman without a man (be it father, brother or husband) has many security concerns.
This write-up is an edited version of my write-up that was published on a dead platform, uptrennd.
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