“Oh my, John,” Mother yelled, her voice breaking with tears at each word. Dad came rushing in and went to hold her. I rolled my eyes from the little corner where I watched the classic scene unfold. I don’t know if it was like that with other fifteen-year-olds but the devotion and love my parents show was sickening. Like it wasn’t that deep, was it?
“Jesus! Who would do this?” Dad exclaimed, fighting the apparent terror in his voice.
I smirked and stretched my neck to see the damage once again. All the pieces that Mom had made for the bride and the bridal train were torn to pieces, rent irredeemably by the hands of someone or something that was clearly intending to fully destroy. It was a masterpiece.
“I’m done for, John,” Mother cried out. “What would I tell them?”
Dad grabbed his phone. “I should call the cops.”
Now, I figured, was the time to make my grand entry. “You can just tell them that I did it,” I said joyfully as I waltzed into my parents’ astonished faces.
Dad left Mom’s side and walked to me. “Sarah? You did this?”
“Yeah, I did. Does it look pretty?”
I didn’t see Dad’s hands till they were around me, shaking me violently. “Why would you do that? You know how long your Mom spent making these dresses. What kind of monster are you?”
“A monster that can do what she wants,” I mumbled, trying to recover myself. “I want to be free.”
“And this is the way you show it? By acting like a devil?”
“You-”
“Sarah,” Mom called weakly. “What’s the matter, sweetie? What did we ever do wrong to have you treating us this way?”
I felt myself breaking at the look of utter heartbreak on her face and let the anger wash through me. She was trying to manipulate me. But I wasn’t going to break. “Quit yapping, woman. I’d do it again.”
Dad erupted. “Don’t speak to your Mom like that, you devil!”
I laughed long and hard and watched with delight as Dad took a step backwards, holding Mom protectively. “I’d have actually felt bad with all these names if I didn’t know that that’s exactly what I am.” I paused and looked menacingly at them. “A devil.” And with that, I ran upstairs.
I banged the door behind me and turned off the lights forcing my eyes close and hoping that this final straw would catch their attention and bring them to take me. I don’t think there was anyone who was as committed to a cause as I was to this. But I didn’t think anyone would blame me. I’d lived a mundane existence for as long as I could remember. Or maybe I wasn’t so accurate with that. My parents did try.
But that’s the thing. They were trying too hard. Trying to please me, trying to make me happy at every turn, when all I wanted was to be free from them. Free from their protective clutches and cuddling. Free to chase the otherworld life that I so desperately craved.
I didn’t know if my parents knew. That the weird and bratty things I did and how hopelessly mean I was to them was for someone to notice. For some people to notice. And once they did, they’d accept me. They’d take me in and I would finally be in the place I belonged, amongst the people that would understand. Because I didn’t belong here. I knew it from the moment I was aware of myself. That these smiling humans, this mundane, monotonous existence was not for me. There was something out there. Near but still far from my reach. But I was going to get them to see me. I’d let them know that I was worthy of their attention.
I’d been reading EYNTU. Which was short for Everything You Need To Know About The Underworld. I’d come across the book randomly at the local library and I’m sure it was the Universe’s go-ahead. That this was what I needed to do. It showed everything you needed to know about the world that was just beyond my reach. The different entities there and how much power each of them wielded. But at the end of the thrilling book was a little note that I bet many people would notice. A little slip that spelt what you needed to do to get them to notice.
For every misdeed and evil showcased
Closer to them your destiny awaits
The brattier, the eviller, the more obscene.
The faster your way to the world unseen.
That’s what I needed to do. Act wildly enough that they would notice. See that I was capable of being among them. And that’s when I let the resentment and discontent I felt from the beginning escalate from my little black soul to all around me. I started with my parents and the little friends who bothered to stick with me. I said mean things to them and did even worse, unspeakable things. Hoping that they would see that I had potential.
But then my Mom’s heartbroken face came to my mind again. The happiness on her face as she painstakingly made each dress and her excited plans to expand the business afterwards. It kept playing till the hurt engulfed my soul and tears ran down involuntarily. I clutched my pillow tightly to my mouth to muffle my scream. She had no right to make me feel like this. I was doing what was right.
But was it really worth it?
Were they worth it?
As I contemplated my life choices till that moment, I fell asleep.
It was chilly. Had someone opened the windows? Why was it freezing? I opened my eyes to see how dark it was. Not a beam of light anywhere, even from the bathroom that I usually left on. Adjusting my eyes to the darkness, I made out a figure in the corner of the wardrobe.
I chuckled to myself. “Classic clothes. Making themselves look like what they’re not.”
Someone chuckled back and I felt my blood run cold. “On the contrary, Sarah,” A voice eerier than words could describe called out. “We are very much what we are.”
I called out shakily. “Who are you?”
The figure chuckled again. “You mean who are we. We are they, the ones you so desperately wanted to be noticed by.” It paused for a second and continued. “And trust me, you have been noticed.”
I knew in that fleeting moment before I was swept away that I’d made a big mistake.
Jhymi🖤
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