My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I could hear the hard pounding of my heart. I squeezed my hands together and focused on a cuticle protruding out from the side of my left hand's middle finger. With my teeth, I struggled to cut it out. That should keep me focused and make me look normal.
Normal to Salome, my best friend who trusted me more than anyone. We lived in a precarious time. The government and politicians were the gods, ruling the people, stealing our money, watching us languish in poverty.
So many beggars on our streets. Very few people could afford a decent meal per day. I sometimes ate once every two days and if lucky, once a day. I'd heard that some butchers now sold human meat bought from non-functional morgues as food.
I'd done odd jobs to survive like many others. When I say odd, believe me, I mean indecently odd. But the money I got was never sufficient to get me out of Okla city. That was my plan. So I became an errand girl for the Resistance, our robin hoods, who fought some of the politicians and took back what had been ours. I got a few coins to get by.
Salome did not know all these. I loved her. We grew up together but her father decided to partake in Okla's politics. Now the Resistance wants to get back at her father, the traitor. I was given a proposition —bring Salome and make enough money to leave Okla city to a better place.
I had a sleepless night deciding. I had no one in Okla except for Salome. My aunt whom I lived with cared nothing for me except that I was her moneymaker, in an indecent way. The men came, drunk, partied at our house and paid her according to how satisfied they were. I'd had enough but she did not need to know this.
No one must know.
"Salome dear, so I have to run errands for Aunty at Tilo. Wanna go?"
Salome stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette, displaying her yellow teeth with tartar above the gum line in a grin. "No need to ask! C'mon!" She jumped in excitement and we left together. It was a ten minutes walk to Tilo, the slum area of Okla city.
I was quiet all through and Salome became inquisitive. "Girl, why you quiet? Everything alright?"
I smiled slightly. "Sure, everything is right."
As soon as we approached the shack where the Resistance met, a tall, hulk of a man jumped out of the bush around the shack and grabbed Salome by her shoulders in a tight grip. I was shocked and froze. Salome screamed and the hulking man hit her on the head heavily to silence her. Her eyes rolled up and she slumped against the man. Blood trickled out of her nose. She almost passed out.
"Dont-don't be mean. Why did you hit her like that?" I questioned the hulking man in shock. He simply eyed me. Two other men strolled out of the bush. One of them was the leader.
"C'mon, Fati. What did you expect? This is how we deal with traitors."
"She's not a traitor…."
"Shhhh," He placed a finger on his mouth. "A traitor's daughter is a traitor. The whole family is a traitor. And you know what happens to traitors?" He whispered into my ears, his stinking breath fanning my neck. "Here, take your money and leave. Now?"
He flung some cash at me. I went down on all fours to pick the money from the ground. Raising my head, my eyes locked with Salome's. My heart lurched. Her lips moved in a whisper. "Fati, please save me?"
I ran like a lion was after me. I did not look back. I ran and wept at the same time. My lungs screamed for relief. My blouse was drenched in sweat but I kept running till I got to the bus station. I paid for a seat on a night bus to the capital where we have heard there are many opportunities to make money. It was better than starving in Okla.
The night was cold and my filmy blouse could not shield me from its attack. The cold, sharp, pierced me through to my bones and made my teeth chatter. I held my knees against my chest and wept some more.
I squeezed my eyes shut and saw Salome's bewildered face. I died a little inside. A darkness enveloped me deep within and I just let it. I was too tired. What do I have to live for after the unspeakable thing I had done?
A burden I would always live with for the rest of my life. I sold my best friend to the Resistance to make a better life.