Brrrzzzt
The sound of the electric jolt shot through the quiet night air, disrupting what was an otherwise peaceful night for Javier. Groggily, he rubbed his heavy eyes and sat upright in his recliner. He had fallen asleep after a long, hot day under the South American sun. Is it that time already? he thought to himself, still trying to clear the cobwebs from his still half asleep mind.
Brrrzzzt Brrrzzzt
Two more zaps rang out through the air in quick succession. The sound brought a memory flooding back into Javier's mind. He remembered a time before all this, a time long ago. He was just a child, eating pizza in his back yard, and the bug zapper was working overtime in the cool summer night.
Another charge snapped him back to the present. It was no bug zapper, but the electric fence he put up was certainly working hard that night.
"It's definitely time," he mumbled to himself. He had a field full of Panama Reds and Colombian Golds, buds just maturing to perfection. There was something about those buds that drove them wild. Attracting them, the cause of the sudden ruckus, which was just now slowly starting to settle down.
Them... Javier liked to refer to them as Wends, referencing the Wendigo legend of North America, where he was originally from. A spirit that would possess a human who had done the unthinkable and consumed human flesh. It wasn't too far off from what others would call them... creepers, biters, the undead, walkers... zombies. But they all had such a negative connotation and Javier did not agree with that at all. He wouldn't be alive without them, none of the survivors would be. This is why he erected his electric fence in the first place. He wasn't trying to keep them out. On the contrary, he was trying to keep them in.
The fence created a cage around the wends about an acre around. He wanted to give them some room to roam, as well as give him the ability to add to his collection should he come across any more. He even gave them names. There was General Hockey-Pockey, Timmy Openmind, Julia Cadaverts, just to name a few. Javier was always ready with a Dad joke before the world went to shit, why should he stop now?
Now the fence was electric, sure, but it was only strong enough to stun the wends. This worked as a perfect notification system to alert him that his buds were ready. The ripe buds attracted the wends, the fence knocked them out, and Javier would go out and collect the fresh buds for another successful harvest. By the time they'd wake back up, the buds would be gone, and the wends would go right back to roaming their little field.
This, however, was only an added bonus to having these creatures around. No, Javier didn't risk his life collecting these things just to give him a leg up on harvesting, though it certainly helped. They had a far more important job, one that has kept him and his fellow surviors alive.
These zombie weren't the only creatures drawn to the buds in this god-forsaken world. There were monsters out there, real, terrible giants that would go around collecting the buds and destroying everything in their path. No one seemed to know where these creatures came from. Some blamed governments for creating them in experiments gone wrong, trying to one up their adversaries. Others believed they came from another planet, using alien technology to try and conquer Earth. Still others swore they were here all along, and only chose this moment to strike. The truth? It didn't much matter now. They were here and the survivors needed to be ready. The last one they fought off took the entire collective of local survivors the entire day just to beat it back. What was it? It was a giant worm cyborg they'd come to call Sobig. Their prize in doing so: their lives and the extra buds the monster had carried with it.
The zombies did their part, fighting off the giant worm, drawn to all the buds the monstrosity was trying to collect. This was why collecting the undead was so valuable and why Javier attributed his survival to these horrifyingly wonderful creatures. He and his fellow neighbors held numerous wends to fend off the invaders. That just wasn't enough. Fortunately scientist much smarter than he were able to develop robots that could also help fend off the monsters. However, together was merely just enough to chase the giants away. If they grew any stronger, humanity would be at the brink of extinction.
Javier was now just about done gathering up his latest harvest, when one of his wends was begining to wake back up. It was one of his stronger fighters, the one he named General Hockey-Pockey. Seeing this, Javier walked over to his still slightly stunned wend and said to him through the fence, "Ah, General, it's good to see you again. Thanks again for letting me know this season's crop was ready." General Hockey-Pockey, now noticing the fresh meat loaded with even fresher buds, snapped into focus. His eyes dilated into a narrow, laser focus while his hunger grew voracious.
Javier laughed and pulled out a pinner he had rolled earlier in the day. He didn't often sample his own product but today was a good day and the harvest had been one of the best he'd had in a long while. He lit the joint, and took a deep, long drag, holding the smoke just long enough for the General to nearly be face to face with him on the other side of the fence. The wend was just about the touch the electric fence for a second time that night, when Javier released the smoke, blowing it right at the once living human's face.
He stopped there, dead in his tracks. Though the human that General Hockey-Pockey once was was no longer of this world, the virus that kept his flesh going still need oxygen to move, and thus the zombies continued to breathe. The smoke from Javier now filled it's lungs and seemed to calm the creature.
"You like that, huh?" Javier asked his general, not really expecting an answer. Though he knew the zombies were deeply attracted to the buds, he never thought to actually give them any, let alone let them smoke a joint. "Here," he said. Grabbing a nearby, thinly forked stick, he stuck the joint as securely as he could into the spot where it divided. He then slowly guided the joint and stick as carefully as he could through the gaps in the fence. General Hockey-Pockey looked down at the joint in front of him, grabbed it, and took a long drag. Javier couldn't believe his eyes. The wends had never shown any sort of intelligence before, but here was one consciously, and calmly smoking a joint!
Javier, stared at the zombie, closely watching this odd behavior. The General, now having finished the joint, snapped it's head up and looked right in to Javier's eyes. It rapidly reached out and grabbed the fence with both hands, and sent Javier stumbling back from the sheer suddenness of it's movement. Electricity flowed through the wend, but he did not get stunned as the zombies so often did. Just as it's hands were beginning to smoke from the electric shock, it let go and simply walked away.
Javier stood in shock, not believing the events that just played out before his eyes. When he finally gathered himself, he took a closer inspection on the fence. The wend was able to begin to bend the fence apart despite being electrocuted. Did smoking a joint make the General stronger? he thought to himself, scratching his head in pure confusion and amazement. Just then, a thought popped into his mind and he raced back to his barn with his latest harvest in tow. If I'm right, this changes everything he thought with elation, we may be able to beat the giants afterall.
"But first, I'm gonna need a stronger fence."
~to be continued~