I went on a retreat organized by our homeschooling provider last November. I must say it was a very relaxing day, indeed. What with all that's going on with my life right now, it was an escape I oh so badly needed. The moment they announced it in our social media group, I knew I had to come. The only trouble was it was more than 50KM away from our place and the event starts at 8AM. So it was either I check in on an AirBnB (spend a lot of money on accommodation) or I get up early, commute via bus (and save lots of money but sacrifice a little bit of sleep time).
I asked my good friend 
It was quite easy to get there. If you are feeling brave and wants to go to Tagaytay by bus from Manila, here's what you need to do.
- Go to PITX or Paranaque Integrated Terminal Exchange. To get there, I booked a Grab car because it would take me 4 kinds of different vehicles before I could get there. It took me less than an hour to get there by car.
- At PITX, look for Gate 2. Just get on the escalator, it's on the 2nd floor. There you'll see buses with signboards saying Tagaytay, Alfonso, Olivarez, Mendez, etc.
- After that, you just need to get off at the town you want to get to. In my case, I had to get off at Olivarez.
- Then you can take the tricycle (they call it bukyo there) to take you to the place you need to go to in Tagaytay.
Getting back from Tagaytay to Manila, you just have to go through everything, only in reverse. The same bus that goes in to Tagaytay has the same route going out of Tagaytay. Very nice and easy. Even a ligawin like me could take on this challenge.
Pagninilay
The first part of the morning was breakfast and mingling time with my fellow homeschooling moms. Man, it feels so good to be surrounded by people you only meet during online Kumustahans and know that you all go through the same whirlwind of emotions and struggles of homeschooling. I like how veteran homeschoolers impart their best practices and seeing new homeschoolers share their struggles and how they overcome it. I can clearly see it was a community of parents gathered together helping each other and being happy with each other's successes.
Pagninilay is a tagalog word which means meditation in English. According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, meditation or to meditate means to focus one's thoughts on, to reflect on, or to ponder over.
As a part of our Pagninilay, we were encouraged to take a close look at Diego Velasquez' painting of Christ in the House of Martha and Mary. As homeschoolers practicing the Charlotte Mason method, we are familiar of the subject called Art Appreciation. First, we were prompted to look at the details that we see in the painting. one by one, we looked at every element we see in the painting. We wrote down every thing that we saw in it, big and small, from the number of people in the painting, down to the smallest details like the shadows, the light source, the garlic, fish, even the candle holder and so much more.
Next, we were asked to reflect on the message that the painting is trying to convey to us. We were asked to let the painting talk to us and see what it is trying to tell us. It was interesting how we were looking at the same painting but each of us has a different reflection about it. And that's the beauty of Art Appreciation. Depending on one's season in life, we see and hear a different message altogether. How about you? What do you see in the painting?
An Attentive Parent
After reflecting on the painting, then proceeded to the first talk of the day which is about being an Attentive Parent. Once again, we are reminded of Charlotte Mason's basic principle: that each child is a person. They are born a complete person with mind, body, soul, will, and emotions. We are not building them into the person they will become because the moment they are born, they are already a complete person. All we need to do is to be an attentive parent so that we get to enjoy how they unfold the person that they are right in front of us.
In this talk, we were introduced to Erik Erikson's stages of Psychosocial developments. Each stages were discussed. At first, I was a bit concerned because there are stages in there that my daughter is still going through at the moment but was supposed to have been gone through already at a certain age. I was relieved to hear that these stages are not like a list of milestones that a child absolutely needs to have done and finished at this age and that. One of my takeaways in this talk was the psychosocial stage that an adolescent goes through: the Identity vs. Confusion. Here, the speaker said "Adolescence is the most turbulent years, but the turbulence does not necessarily need to happen." Our children will try new things and will make mistakes. We as parents just need to let them.
Another thing I took note of in this talk, in relation to the different stages a child goes through is that our way of teaching should evolve along with the child. We can't keep having them read books like the Mother Goose or Winnie the Pooh series books when they have finished that and wants to move on to The Chronicles of Narnia or Charlotte's Web. Furthermore, you can't expect a 3 year old to act like an 11 year old so we need to set our teaching techniques according to their learning stage.
An Attentive Life
This part of the talk hit me so hard. There is so much I want to do in such a little time it feels like 24 hours is never enough for me. But in this talk, I realized that being a homeschool mom, while still doing all the other things that need to be done in the house, all the while taking care of myself is doable. I just need to change something. I need to pay attention.
Are you aware of the term "continuous partial attention"? Someone in the retreat said it's like never here, never there. What I get from this is someone trying to do everything, be everywhere, all at once. In short, multitasking. I used to think that that was a skill. It turned out it is a habit that has kept me so stressed for the longest time. I wanted to be able to finish everything around the house so I do everything at the same time. I cook while I homeschool. I watch while I crochet. I am in a constant state of thinking "What should I do next?" while I am still doing what I am doing while waiting for the other thing I did to finish too. No wonder I become grumpy. And I used to blame it on my hormones. It turns out it was because my brain was in a constant state of stress.
But I literally have so much I need to do. Folding the clothes, drying the wash load, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, looking after my pets and fosters, bringing my daughter to her ballet rehearsals, finishing up all the crochet orders I accepted just because I wanted to earn extra money, and the list goes on. Then I found that my watch has the Pomodoro Timer. I honestly just learned about this when I was playfully tinkering with my watch. I've had it for a long time and this is the first time I discover this feature. It's like the universe is helping me learn how to focus and pay attention and practice what I learned from our Pagninilay retreat.
In the Pomodoro technique you have to set a time in your watch to do focused work. And I mean truly focus - no distractions, no Netflix on the background, no talking, just focus. Then you get to enjoy a 5 minute rest after that focused work. It truly makes wonders! I was able to finish tasks more quickly but still beautifully because I was more focused and I have an undivided attention.
In conclusion
As a homeschooling mom, I am not just wearing one hat. I have to be the mom, the teacher, the disciplinarian, a playmate, a dietitian, a nurse, a furparent, a wife, a partner, a budgetarian, an accountant, and so much more. It's easy to get lost in all those different hats that I have to interchange on a daily basis. But there is one truth that I realized during this Pagninilay retreat. I am also a person. I have gotten so used to saying that children are born persons, I forgot that parents are also persons. We have our own sets of emotions, dreams, wants. We have our own mind, body, and soul. As such, we also need to nurture ourself. We also need to pay attention to ourselves as a person.
I needed to understand that in able for me to become an effective homeschooler, I need to also take care of me as a person. Let's be realistic though moms rarely get breaks. But is can be done - and still get the chores done. All I needed was to pay attention. Be attentive to my family's needs but still also pay attention to my own. And it's a beautiful thing because good things come from a well rested momma with no guilt feelings of not being able to do the tasks that she needs done. Even up til now, I can't believe I was able to make this water color painting during our activity in the Pagninilay retreat. It just goes to show how much one can accomplish if they put their focus and attention to what they're doing.
All images above are mine unless otherwise stated.
