I am a blessed man. I have a kind, caring, beautiful wife. I have a quiver full of kiddos (if six counts as a full quiver). I have a job that lets me provide for my family and a roof over my head.
I don't have much to complain about.
But that does not mean there are no challenges. My youngest is four years old and still needs help going to the potty. (I should talk about pooping parties in another post.) My oldest is 15 years old and keeps asking for the keys to a 3,000-pound vehicle.
Homeschool Driver's Ed
I never took a driver's ed course. Although I enjoyed learning and academics, I was not super excited about giving up part of my summer vacation to learn how to drive. My dad taught me the old-fashioned way by driving circles around a school parking lot in our city.
Now I am the dad. I am the one asking my child to drive around the parking lot.
That first lesson was a doozy. Between the abrupt starts and stops and the occasional running over a curb, my daughter and I made some progress. But admittedly, I was excited when we made it home safely. Ten minutes down. Only 39 hours and 50 minutes more to go!
I am proud to say that the mistakes are few and far between now. Although a lot has been accomplished, there are still some things that I need to teach and that my daughter needs to learn.
Slow and safe are not synonymous.
Life is a magical dance of slowing down and speeding up. We place ourselves into motion while navigating around others who are also in motion.
Sometimes on the road (and in life as well), we can go too slow. Being too slow to accelerate or make a turn is often as dangerous as being too fast. Being too slow to change in life can be equally dangerous!
When behind the wheel of a car, decisions must be made quickly. In life, we don't often have the luxury of pulling to the side of a busy road or stopping when there is no stop sign.
I don't always raise my voice out of anger.
Teaching someone to drive requires the right mix of patience and communication.
As the teacher, too little patience leads to frustration and a strained relationship. Too little communication leads to an uninformed and ill-equipped child who may be heading toward disaster.
Several times during our driving sessions, I needed to raise my voice. In those situations, I am not trying to communicate disapproval or anger but rather grab my daughter's attention.
Every driver has to process what seems like a million different variables. Sometimes as parents, we need to shout through the noise so that our kiddos can navigate the roads and their future.
I want to 'shout' my love for my kiddos. I want to 'shout' sound advice and wise counsel. I want to 'shout' warnings of danger and stories of my previous mistakes. I am not shouting out of anger but rather love.
Receiving instructions is not the same as knowing the way.
In life and while driving, orientation is the key to success.
My daughter excelled at following my instructions - turn left, speed up, slow down, etc. But there is a big difference between understanding my commands and knowing the way.
My daughter, much like myself many times in life, needed simple instructions when she first started learning to drive. But I have higher hopes for her. Being instructed by someone is the beginning of the journey, not the desired end result.
Someday my daughter will be able to get from point A to point B on her own. Not only will she need to know where she is, but she will also know where she wants to be.
Someday she will take basic, foundational instructions and translate them into useful applications. As a father, my goal is not to be the person who is always giving commands. My goal is to equip my children to build a foundation so that they can do anything, especially the hard things.
Coming back home is special.
You can't realize how special home is if you have never left. Today, my daughter is driving across town with my wife or me. In the near future, she will be able to navigate our city streets on her own. In a few years, she may take a road to another city or another state.
I want to be the type of dad who cares so much for her today that she will want to come back to my home even if she has built a new home someplace else.
My family has not had the luxury of spending decades in the same house. Life has moved us around often. We have had many roofs over our heads. For us, home is not a place or a building. It is the people who fill the dining room chairs. It is the giggle-filled conversations as we sit on the couch or lay our heads on our pillows at night. It is game nights and homemade pizza while watching a movie together.
Home is the people that mean the world to us. No matter the road and the obstacles we face, I always want my kiddos to find extreme joy in pulling up into the driveway. I want them to be happy to return 'home.'
Final Thoughts
Like any good lesson worth learning, both the teacher and student need to show up and give 100%. I am proud of my daughter for the time and effort she gives to becoming a better driver.
We still have months of spending time together in our car. My hope is that she looks back on our time together and knows ...
- I love her so much
- She can get anywhere she needs to be but is always excited to come back to me.
- Have you taught someone else to drive? How did that go?
- What makes home special for you?
