I'm walking home with my youngest daughter, she is skipping ahead of me in the dark, telling me what she wants to be when she grows up, grows up to be a teenager that is. She wants to be a painter, a dancer, a jumper and a singer. She goes onto tell me, that when she is a teenager, she will be able to have so much fun
Although, she is in fact constantly having fun She is so full of energy and fully charged. We were dancing earlier and she was holding my hands, so that she could shake herself without falling.
From a distance, it may have looked like I was shaking her violently, but she was the one moving my arms. All I could do was smile. As she just made the most of that moment.
"I wish I was 18", she proceeded to tell me, "so then I can buy my own toys and coconut sugar." Our walk home involves walking up the side of a cliff, so that we can reach our home. We both know this way really well, but in the dark, things seem to take on a different form.
She is much more confident than me, as she scales up, I shout ahead, telling her to slow down, as I worry that she will not be able to see as clearly as me.
"I know the way, Mum, stop distracting me."
She certainly knows how to put m in my place.
Each day as a parent, it always seems to come back to trust. As our children spread their wings, just that little bit more.
Earlier in the night, my eldest daughter, decided to give me a crash course in what it is like to be a teenager, because I'm too old to remember, apparently.
She is right though, I don't have many memories of what it felt like to be a teenager. Besides feeling confused and out of place.
And here, is my daughter having no problems talking to me about what it is like to be 13, how at that age, her and her friends really like to act so much older than they are and make out that they are bored, when really they are not. They are just happy to be together.
I really love her honesty and how straight forward she is. I love the conversations we have together and how much she shares with me, just as I share with her. Being a parent is really honoring, the need for our relationship to be a two way street. Not expecting more, than I am willing to give.
It really has a lot to do with respect. Respect for her journey, as she begins to explore who she will be, who she is, right in this moment
I have not always found it so easy, witnessing her become a teenager. It's hard to begin the process of letting go. Giving her the space she needs to grow and explore, away from me. It feels like, she was still my little girl, not that long ago.
It really is all about trust.
My middle daughter, who is ten. Is the most emotional and the most fiery, out of the three. She is also super creative and caring. She struggled a lot when I separated from her father, but over the last two years, she has really started to blossom and come into her own.
Discovering the way in which she can express herself, which she does so beautifully through her art. She has really shown me, that sometimes the best thing to do, is nothing at all. That by interfering too much, we can really hinder their growth and healing.
That one of the greatest gifts we can give them, is the opportunity to discover the way forward, for themselves. Allowing them, to really empower themselves.
When you become a parent, there is no guide book. None that I ever got anyway. I don't even believe that you can prepare yourself, you just have to surrender and jump in.
To open yourself up to learning and unlearning, to being loved unconditionally and loving unconditionally.
And everyday, trusting your children and ourselves. To rise up and meet every challenge, every opportunity for growth and healing. Learning along the way, as I raise my children.
