My doctor said I should try to write a diary to keep track of my achievements and difficulties, this way the small achievement that appear insignificant build up with time and when overcoming a problem I will have a record showing that even though at the moment they appear daunting I can overcome them and things get better.
I need to keep record of my addiction, my back muscles strengthening and my transition. And hopefully at the end of every day being able to say I did good, reached my (daily) goals and can be proud of myself.
I need also to keep in mind my loved one, I dont mind disappointing myself for I've done it so much thst I'm used to it. But disappointing him breaks my heart and this can be used as motivation to keep on track.
It's ok to feel sad, but I need to start feeling hopeful. It can and will get better.