IS VIRGINITY ENOUGH?
Marrying a virgin in some African cultures is a thing of pride and also a thing of shame when reverse becomes the case, I will discuss further on this in subsequent posts.
So I had a mentee who got pregnant out of wedlock, she ran away from everyone including me.
I still worked at the bank as at the time and didn't know until someone informed me.
I called her severally and she would either not take my calls or pick up but will not talk, thereby burning my airtime.
I sent her a text, a heart felt text.
Telling her that I wasn't judging her and would never.
She responded finally and we met to talk. I held her hands and helped her settle into her marriage (by way of moral support).
One day, she asked me if her marriage would work because the foundation is faulty.
Then, I answered her..
There are two aspects to marriage success...
- Choosing right (foundation)
- Living right (building)
To enjoy your marriage, you must have a good foundation and you must build.
If you chose your partner based on the right principles, that doesn't mean you will enjoy your marriage.
You must live the right principles to enjoy it.
Haven't you seen people who got married and the next news people were expecting to hear is divorce, maybe because they had bad situations surrounding their union and yet, they stick together?
Haven't you also seen people, whom we expect their marriage to work out just fine but to our dismay it ended in shambles?
What is the problem?
After the foundation, you must build well.
However, if your foundation is for a bungalow and you now want to do four storey, you could do that.
Excerpt that, it will cost you more in pillars trying to reinforce the foundation.
You can reinforce the foundation of your marriage if you missed it.
I told her- your marriage is not doomed unless you want it to.
However, you will have to work harder now.
Why?
Personally, I was sexually inactive prior to getting married, my wife too.
We do not struggle to trust each other sexually but if we had sex, something in us will be suspecting each other because if we did it without commitment, then something can happen.
Be at peace...
Learn the principles and enjoy your home.