With eyes half opened,
I scour my way to find you.
The first sound of cling you make
As I make your way out of the cupboards to meet me.
I feel your handles gently ready to receive my fingers.
The slight coldness of your ceramic,
The familiar weight I have to endure.
I am gentle and firm as I make your way to greet me.
My muscle moves gracefully with you.
To find my first thing..
To be able to turn on hot water..
To find my teaspoon and fill you with three doses of caffeine that you and I know, are inseparable.
I do the instant.
I do straight black.
As I carefully watch the hot water that fills your beauty,
You give me the aroma that feels safe.
That smell of something familiar that have always been with me since highschool days and all through my darkest days.
The signal of beginnings.
New mornings.
New mournings.
Now, as you are heavier carrying my favorite drink in the world..
We make a team.
You have my full attention as I free both my hands to carry you..
One step at a time..
To the table.. Our table..
You give me my first sense of accomplishment as I feel successful not spilling any.
And now, we sit. We stir and stare.
We sit and stare. Over and over.
Sit, stir and stare.
For countless seconds of watching the hotness of you and the coldness of day.
I sit there and I stare... At you.
Groping your handles again..
I sniff and savour the moment.
Our moment.
And when I am ready, and I feel that you are ready too, you allow me to my first sip.
This special first taste of morning.
Slowly it tries to enter in slowly, but the more I taste, the more I want to take more.
You take me from theta to my alpha. You start, restart, reboot me.
You tell me that there is normalcy.
You reassure me that if I finish my coffee, I am mentally ready.
That I am ready.
That I have the energy to take on anything.
That I am the energy.
And i try.. I do try my best to cling on the promises you made to me this morning.. All our mental conversations.. I try to remember for the rest of the day..
Forgive me though, as I lack the strength to endure and reassure myself.. And you know that I know, this is the reason why I have to do this process over and over again, and wait for the next morning, to start crumbling..
To be with you, and feel myself again.
