I doubt if my younger self would recognize me if he were eto see me now. Some years ago I was just a small boy running around playing bottles and oranges as football. I was never really concerned about anything. Years later, I was enrolled in school and only had to do few things...help with some house chores and also help mum hawk. If you had asked me back then that, Who are you? I would have just laughed it off and probably answer, "just a boy who wants to enjoy life to the fullest."
But then, life has its way of doing things, life tends to bring certain things out way, most times they are things we weren't even expecting, and guess what, it reshapes us. Personally, I can say everything changed the day illness became a part of my story. It never crossed my mind that I could get sick to such an extent, it never crossed my mind that I could have to leave school due to illness, I never imagined I could be so weak and bedridden for so long. And during those times, life kept on moving while I'm on the hospital bed. Why now, why me? That was my question back then, there was no answers forthcoming. It got to a stage I couldn't even lift myself up without help, it was that bad.
I had been seeing things and experiencing life, but that period with illness made me see life in a different light. It took away every courage/boldness/strength I thought I had. And guess what, those periods didn't just go by, it taught me a lot of things about life, I learnt about people, I know what true love really is, I understand what we call family, I know how important good health is, I appreciate little things and most importantly, that moment also taught me that beyond what we all see as strength, being able to be patient and endure is a different kind of strength on its own. I value and appreciate those who stood by me then. Sincerely, life is fragile and every single thing you are still capable of doing is a gift, be it breathing, eating, walking. Ask someone like me, I will tell you how hard it was then.
Now, I ain't old, but at least I'm older, and when I look back at the way I do certain things now, the way I give, the way I care, the way I love, the way I don't hold on to things as if one day I won't later have to let it go. And of a truth, my illness hadn't just left scars on my body, it had touched me. I have learned compassion, I have learned to give and I have learned to love. Most people hardly believe I had such story, they'd just be like "You?" And I will be like Yes." You know. The truth is every single person is fighting a hidden battle, including those who seems/looks strong. Now, I value people and time.
So, would my younger self recognize me today? I doubt that, I'm still playful, not like before though. I was very playful then. Also, I'm not as hardworking as I was back then, not that I'm now lazy, nope, but my body wouldn't allow me do strenuous work as I do back then. My younger self would be expecting to meet/see that same playful, tennis lover boy living life carefree, but then, he would meet this new version of me who's carrying lessons written in scars and pain. And I trust my younger self, always curious, he would definitely ask, "What happened?" And I would do well to answer, "We grew, life cma eat us, but we survived.".
Who am I now? Well, I am not just that boy from the past, I am a survivor. I am someone who has seen life, who has passed through pain and had rise above it. I am someone who now loves, who now value people, who does good deeds, and who's patient. My illness did reshaped me, but guess what, it could have break me, but then it helped to reveal me.
All pictures are mine.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.*