They will be here in less than an hour to pick up the last of my chickens. Nineteen hens and one rooster, off to a new home. These ones were spared the freezer, but I just can't find my "want to" for chickens this year. Or a garden. After ten years of learning about permaculture and aquaponics and sprouting and fodder feeding and worm bins and microgreens and making my own dry feeds and, on and on and on...
I QUIT.
At least for now. We kept finding new ways to grow food and "experimenting." Rather than pour a ton of money into a new project, we would do things on the cheap, just to see if it worked for us. We learned a lot, the knowledge is the big prize we gained. However, after ten years we have no infrastructure. My chicken coops are falling apart, my greenhouse did fall apart last year.
My dome grow area never got finished, the fish died so the AP system sits idle, the backhoe won't stay running long enough to even try my permaculture design for our place.
Ten years ago I had the excitement of brand new ideas to carry me through. Now I have ten more years of aches, pains and things that don't work like they used to. Eleven years ago, I used to kayak, scuba, ski... Now I don't have time, (have to get home to feed!) or money (have to buy more feed!) and I worry that some of these aches and pains mean I could not even do some of those activities if I had the time and money. So I am stepping back.
I have been there, done that, I have enough T-shirts. A sampling:
Aquaponics
Tilapia Breeding
Fodder Feeding
Serious Fodder Set Up
Rocket Mass Heater Build
Lots of Chickens
Our trouble is not that we don't have any ideas, our trouble is we did not focus and tried all the good ideas we found. I am not doing a garden this year. Last year I fed grasshoppers, the year before that I fed voles. My cows and chickens have to break in there at some point and raid the goodies too. For the last several years, I wind up filling my freezer with produce I bought, because something besides me got to harvest my garden. That wears on you after a while. I am going to cut to the chase and plan on buying my produce this year.
🥚🧀🥔🍎🍒🍋🍐🍉🍓🌽🌶🥕🥒🥑🍌🍈
I live in a postcard, but it is not an easy life. The wind howls.. The grow season is short. The winters are long, dark, and it can snow several feet. The rain is non-existent and for our 30 acres we have irrigation rights for 3/4 acre. (Was hearing another vegan this morning say meat is not "sustainable." It depends on where you live. Around here, unless you want to eat sagebrush, you'd better be ready to eat beef if SHTF.) This place makes a lovely photograph but a crappy garden. I am not putting one more plant in the ground until I have climate control, year-round. Even then, the plants won't go in the ground. I am also tired of bending over, my back hurts.
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Ten years ago when I "woke up" the first thing I realized is that I needed to be able to feed myself, my family, and as many neighbors as I could if SHTF. I no longer feel any obligation to try to feed my neighbors, around here most of the people are way ahead of me. I got into chickens and did eggs and meat birds. At this point, I still have 2 year old chickens in my freezer; we just don't eat as much meat as we used to and I don't have as many mouths to feed. I could keep a couple layers around, but then I am married to twice a day care all summer when I can buy organic, free range eggs grown across the street for $2 a dozen. We eat about a dozen eggs a week. I cannot hire anyone to come gather my eggs that cheap. Except me... screw that, I am buying HIS eggs! They honestly come out cheaper than mine, if you value my time at ANYTHING remotely reasonable, even half minimum wage.
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OK, it is a little sad. I do love chickens, they are amazing creatures. Know what I don't love? Stepping in chicken poop, chicken poop on EVERY pair of shoes I own, chicken poop on my doormat where I wish I could wipe chicken poop off my shoes, chicken poop on my eggs, chicken poop in the nest boxes, cleaning the coop, injured chickens, dead chickens, taking chickens in to get whacked, listening to people treat me like I am "wrong" because I do not do chickens the way they do, dogs getting into my chicken flock and killing half the flock, dogs getting in the chicken flock and having to be shot, badgers getting in the coop and having to be shot, sprouting stuff all over my kitchen, sprouts all over in my shower, buying feed, buying more feed, buying more feed... and having ZERO profit margin on eggs or meat. It has NEVER been financially viable to sell the eggs or the birds, and I do everything I can think of to keep costs down. Everyone around here has chickens, they just don't pay "organic" prices and I can't label mine "organic" anyway. And... I can't grow a chicken and have it processed at the local USDA approved place as cheap as Tyson can ship them to China and back.
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So, they are going away soon. It has been quite the adventure. We have eaten very well. My animals were well loved, well cared for - they had a good life and these ones are not even going to have THAT bad of a day today, just a little stress. I am a little giddy, to be honest. We still have the cows, but through the summer they are just a lot less work. And I do have plenty of other work lined up for this summer... like getting ready to get back into chickens next year. Maybe the year after... 
