A few days ago was Boxing Day in North America. For those familiar with this post Christmas holiday, you will recognize it as a day when (after months of consumerism leading up to the holidays) people once again set out to the stores to hunt for bargains on products that are often on sale for a fraction of their original cost. Although there is so much I could comment on in regards to this holiday, I am going to focus on one aspect only for today.
The holiday that we call Boxing Day is the product of a social conditioning that teaches us to consume. To celebrate, consume. To express love, consume. To find meaning and distraction, consume. This conditioning can be very deeply entrenched and can be very difficult to unravel as we begin to wake up to the illness of our society. I am going to suggest to you that when seeking to live a life of full responsibility, and to make the transition to homesteading and off grid living, the most important step is to recognize this conditioning and to begin to nurture a new way of thinking about your own needs.
Today I am going to offer 3 vital steps which you can take within your own mind to begin to prepare yourself for an off grid transition.
- I am a producer
One way that I have been supporting others in my community to recognize and resist this conditioning is by hosting ReSkilling events on what others know as Boxing Day. Every year on the 26th of December I open my home to others who would like to spend their day being a producer rather than a consumer. In years past we have made reusable feminine hygiene products, leather baby shoes, herbal body products, herbal cough syrups, wine, beer and candles. This year I taught others to make soap, lard candles, and how to card wool.
Becoming a producer is an incredibly empowering experience, and it is an important step in taking full responsibility for your life. Learning to make or produce the things in your life is an ever deepening journey. Set a goal to learn to make one new thing that you use every month. It could be a goal to learn how to grow potatoes, or make candles, or sew reusable paper towels. Before each purchase, ask yourself “is this something that I could make?” Asking the question doesn’t mean that you need to immediately refrain from the purchase and straight away learn how to make the item. But it should begin to foster an awareness in you about the skills and materials needed to live your life. It is fully and completely impossible to gain all of the skills necessary to produce everything in your life, especially right off the bat. But that’s not the point. Being a producer is a mentality. It is a lens through which to see the world. It is a curiosity about how things are made. It is a sense of adventure about life and discovering something new every day.
Sometimes we will discover that to produce the things we make use of would not be worth the effort, or would be too difficult. At other times we may come to realize…”I don’t really need that”.
- Buying is always the last option
I love this little hierarchy image. It very much captures my approach. The gist of this mental step is that being a consumer is very much a mentality and it is actually rare that we need to go and buy something. That doesn’t mean that we never should buy anything. However, there are always other options.
I taught business and entrepreneurship for many years to women who lived on a low income and faced barriers to traditional employment. The non-profit that I worked for supported these women, some of whom were newcomers to the country, others who were leaving abusive relationships, and others who lived with various disabilities, to build a business to offer them a non-traditional economic opportunity. During the stage of developing their businesses where we would build financial projections, I would ask them to outline what they would require to successfully launch their business. The first answer I would receive was ALWAYS a dollar figure. These women, like most people in our society, were conditioned to see their needs in terms of dollars and cents. And this is where I would work with them to begin to shift their understanding of their needs. No…I would say. You don’t need money. The money as it is will do nothing for you. You want to purchase something with that money. What is it? They would then list the things that they needed to run their businesses. This was a big step closer to the reality of their situation. However, I would then challenge them to go one step deeper by asking…”and what will that item do for your business?” It is the function that items serve that we are looking for. Sometimes there are many potential ways to serve that function. Many ways to meet that need. It is very true that at times the item which they indicated they needed to purchase did not have any easy substitutes. And that’s okay. The point of the exercise was for them to understand…money doesn’t start businesses. Using what we have access to in a productive way does. So I will ask you…When you think you need money, what is it that you truly need?
Here are some examples…
I need money for groceries.
Do you really? What would you do with those groceries and why? You would buy food to eat…because eating will keep you healthy and…well…alive. So what you really need is food to nourish your body. Are there other ways to obtain food other than by having money? SURE! You might grow food. You might trade a skill in exchange for someone else’s surplus food. You have options beyond buying.
I need money to buy a vehicle.
Do you really? What would you do with the vehicle and why? You would perhaps drive to work or to meet with family. Okay. So you actually need transportation. Are there other ways to get to work or to meet with family? SURE! You might take a bus, ask for a ride, take a bike, walk…you have options.
Of course, just like the women in my course, you might find that in the end, having a vehicle is actually very important. But do you need money to obtain one? Maybe not. Perhaps you could trade labour for a spare vehicle that someone has.
Of perhaps you have something to trade.
Once we let go of the first thought of “I need to buy something” many options begin to open up to us. And, we may even find that when we ask this series of questions to ourselves, we may not need that very thing we thought we needed at all.
- My life has NOTHING to do with stuff
One of the most important steps in taking full responsibility for your life is recognizing that “stuff” doesn’t define who you are. It has nothing to do with your life’s purpose. It will never bring satisfaction in life. I find it pretty predictable in my life. When I am feeling down about myself, my life, the direction that something is headed, I start to think about “stuff” more. For so many of us stuff has become both a distraction and a band-aid. We distract ourselves from both positive and negative experiences with stuff. We have been conditioned to consume in order to fill a void.
When you feel the desire to “browse” a store or to go shopping for something new, ask yourself “Am I avoiding something of significance?” or “Will I be fostering my greatest self in buying something right now?” A natural follow up question might then be “Is there something I could be doing right now that would fill a void I am feeling that doesn’t require that I consume?”
As we begin to notice our patterns in relation to “stuff” we may be surprised to find that we have given over emotions (of security, success, comfort, love) to stuff. I would instead challenge you to not only resist this urge to give your life’s meaning over to stuff, but to go one step further. When you are feeling down, or when you notice yourself focusing on the stuff you don’t have, want, or even that you do have and are focusing too much on, take these steps;
Pick out one item in the room that you are in or where you spend a lot of time that you think someone else could use or would love, or one item that you simply don’t need. It could be anything. Pick it up and put it in a box, or close to your front door. Write a little note for the person you are thinking of (even if it is a perfect stranger) and tell them why they might enjoy this item or why it made you think of them. Then, either send it to them or take it to them.
This exercise does two things. It declutters your immediate space, which is of immense benefit in our mental health, but more importantly, it begins to disassociate your emotions for your “stuff”. It especially begins to train your mind to not seek the accumulation of stuff.
After picking out an item to clear out, take some time to assess what will actually bring fulfillment in your life. What will make you feel happy in that moment? What will make you feel calm? How can you find peace and acceptance? Make a list of three things that will add meaning to your life that do not involve “things”. Think about doing taking those steps, or better yet…take one of those steps. Perhaps meditating for 5 minutes or doing some breathing exercises will help you find peace in that moment. Take that 5 minutes. Perhaps a walk in the trees will make you happy. Or playing with a pet. Do it. These moments create meaning within our lives which do not center around things, objects, possessions.
Of course, there is much more that can be done to find one’s true purpose in life. I suggest you invest some time and thought into what that might be (and you will see a post on this topic soon). It is very difficult to live a happy and fulfilled
homesteading or off grid life if you do not have a sense of purpose and mission in life. You will find your needs are much easier to meet when you know your calling in the world. Taking full responsibility for your needs involves the recognition that you have a need to belong and create meaning in life. It may take years to recognize (even though it is often right in front of us), but I promise you will be richer for taking the journey regardless.
I wish you warm thoughts, on this cold winter day, and I hope you have many moments to ponder the ways in which you can become a producer, recognize and meet your needs without becoming a consumer, and to see and feel your deep meaning in life apart for the things you have or use in life.
From my home fire to yours, hai hai.