For 6 1/2 years, the guy across the street has just been "The Guy Across The Street".

A big lumberjack kind of a man, he's quietly gone about his business year after year without there being much reason for interaction. He and his wife have one daughter who's much older than our children and we generally just see them coming and going. He obviously has some kind of disability since it's a chore for him to walk, but in spite of that he meticulously cuts his grass, rakes his leaves, keeps his landscaping neat and cares for his cars. Now and then we exchange polite waves.

But for 6 1/2 years, I haven't known his name.

Adversity Forms Relationships

Last week our lawn mower broke. We share it with Ben's parents who live next door and having it in the shop for ten days right at the height of explosive lawn growth resulted in amber waves of green taking over both yards long before we got the mower back. Something had to be done.

Ben broke out the little reel mower and got busy, but it was about 88 degrees that day and reel mowers are a serious workout. Halfway through he stopped for a break. I was working in the yard with Daniel in the back carrier and I decided to lighten the load on Ben by cutting a few strips myself.

The Guy Across the Street came home from the store while I was doing this. He stood in his garage watching me for a minute, then shouted, "Hey, want to borrow my lawn mower?"

My first instinct was to say "no". We were handling this. It wasn't a problem.

That's a dumb instinct.

We Need Our Neighbors

Hive account@mericanhomestead did a video (back when they were on YouTube) about how moving into a rural area when you're not native can be very challenging because people don't really accept you. It takes a lot of diligence to form good relationships with your neighbors but it's worth it. If you want to successfully build a homestead, you often need your neighbors. They can be some of your most valuable resources...as you can be for them. The key is to be quick to exchange help and listen to advice.

Now, if that's the case for city folks moving into the country where they don't naturally belong...how important should it be to make friends with neighbors on the street where your husband has lived his whole life? If tough times came here, I sure would want to know our neighbors at least a little before we have to watch each others' backs.

I'd been thinking about it ever since I watched that video: the need to reach out to our neighbors. And here our neighbor was being extremely kind.

So I took a deep breath and told the honest truth instead of giving a polite refusal. "That'd be wonderful!"

He wheeled his lawn mower right over and said, "I just can't watch you using that old mower with the little papoose on board."

Kindness Is A Good Foundation

That one act of thoughtfulness and the acceptance of it changed the dynamics of our relationship. He waves and smiles when he sees us and we wave and smile back. Not just politely, but because we're genuinely happy to see each other. We've had some conversations out in the yard where he's talked about things he's been thinking over lately. "These school shootings happening all over," he said one day. "Those aren't caused by guns. Everyone had guns when I was a kid. This would never have happened if they hadn't taken God out of the schools."

When you don't even know your neighbor's name, you have no clue what he thinks about things. And the thoughts your neighbors have are important. They could directly impact you, just as you could directly impact them. It's not a change for the better that most of us know TV news personalities a whole lot better than the guy living right next to us.

In Randy's case, It's been really nice starting to know him instead of just living inside our little bubble and ignoring our neighbors. His daughter is getting married this week. We made cookies for them to share with the potential company that always comes with weddings, even though Randy has undergone a drastic diet change and lost at least 50 pounds by no longer eating things like cookies.

I find myself noticing good things I didn't before, like the way he makes sure to bring the garbage cans in for the old man who lives next to him. Randy isn't just the Guy Across the Street: he is a kind and thoughtful neighbor who is valuable to know...and not just because he had a lawn mower we could borrow.

Maybe the time will come when knowing each other will be really important; but at present, there's the comfort of no longer being complete strangers. Neighbors are kind of in this "Life" thing together. And I'm glad the Guy Across the Street finally has a name.