A stood upon the bank of a river of blood. Bodies floated down it; some squirming and struggling, others with a dead look of resignation as they stared emptily into the void above.
There was no light exactly, but the rusted earth below my feet and the dark crimson of the river's blood was clear. It felt as if darkness reflected back to you instead of light; as if I would have to obstruct the darkness to cast a shadow of light.
"Welcome to Hell." Its voice was hoarse and croaky, as if from an oversized frog with a dry tumor in it's throat. When I turned to look at it I found myself perhaps not far off.
The humanoid creature that stood maybe four feet tall and had a completely fused neck and face. It's mouth was very frog-like, through plastered upon a flat face. Its eyes looked beady in comparison to its large, torn and swollen mouth, though in reality they didn't seem much smaller than my own. A tuft of platinum blond hair stood atop its head, nearly invisible against its yellowish skin. It's arms and legs looked functional. Sickly thin, but functional. The torso reminded me of a kidney, its spine twisting sideways yet somehow not so much that it buckled under it's own weight. It was rounded at the edges, less in a chubby way so much as the flesh seemed to hang onto some barely human frame. I believe my young niece drew something similar once. Two fleshy sticks stuck out from its back, twitching from time to time.
"I'll be your guide. Follow me." It croaked while turning to walk the other direction.
"Wait, who even are you?" By this point telling me I was in hell was of no surprise. I knew I was still alive, somewhere, but there is no place like this on earth, that I was certain.
"As I said, I am your guide. You've been granted citizen access, and won't likely find your way in or out without a guide." The thing squinted at me. I imagine it was trying to glare, but its face was hard to read.
I moved forward and positioned myself to let my new companion lead. Between getting stabbed by this thing now or eaten by something else while I travel alone, I felt my best chances were with the yellow frog man.
"Do you have a name?" I asked after several minutes of silence, traveling the rivers edge.
"Lucifer." It replied. Somehow that word was filled with sorrow and anguish.
"Lucifer?" I predictably questioned, somewhat shocked. "As in Lucifer, angel of light? Prince of evil? Ruler of hell?"
"I am no ruler." Lucifer replied, squinting forward. "I thought I could be. My vanity consumed me, and I struck against my creator. The fact that you humans think I would be given power and influence like that after such an act of treason may also be part of my penance. It is a matter of unending shame that you would idolize me so." His voice was sadness. I felt only pity for this creature, exceptionally so. Perhaps it was the atmosphere of hell that made that sadness so profound.
"So Satan rules?" I asked, "I often get confused on the matter of you and Satan being separate entities or not."
A gurgling, perhaps a groan, escaped Lucifer's mouth at the question. "Satan is a myth to disguise your own evil. It's a disgusting fiction used to hide from your own sins." it paused, seemingly to collect itself. "God is creator and sustainer of all things. He rules over all; Heaven, Earth and Hell. You have lost your way so far as to attribute some evil deity with controlling part of god's creation."
I felt ashamed. Once again, to took me much stronger than it should have. I felt dead inside as the shame made me feel more pitiful than the broken form before me that seemed to struggle to make each step forward.
In time, we arrived at a long, stone bridge that spanned the river. I couldn't place the material, the stone looked almost burnt. "Here I was expecting a ferry." I quipped.
"Yes, well we modernized. I'm sure you'll like what we've done with the place." Lucifer croaked back.
At least sarcasm seemed to be alive and well here.