I feel comfortable being around horses. It wasn't always that way. For many years, I suffered bouts of anxiety riding and caring for horses.
My horse Reanna taught me to trust myself. To know horses. To not be afraid of horses. To be real and authentic with horses. To listen to horses.
The horse is the true expert. My experience with horses deepened as I let go of expectations of who I thought the horse should be and allowed and accepted the horse for what he or she was. It had nothing to do with riding. It had everything to do with seeing.
Seeing the horse as another being deserving of respect and care for what they needed. Not just what I needed.
This afternoon, I arrived at the horse barn across town. The horses I'm caring for in my pet sit business greeted me at the gate. I said hello before making their mash.
Their soft nickers followed me as I returned from the feed area. The ground soft and wet from recent rains, the lush green grass reaching for the sunshine, paddocks waiting to be mucked, and buckets to be filled.
I untangled the bay mare's black mane with my fingers, reaching over to rub her sides as she nibbled strands of hay from the net hanging in her stall.
I lost myself in time and space. Forgetting myself for the moment.
That's the gift horses bring me. I let go of what's going on in my head. The worries and concerns of everyday life.
I breathe in horses.
I let go of who I think I am.
And just be.