When you browse books on personal development and articles regarding creating your life higher the stress is mostly on the positive.
You learn all regarding deciding what you wish and the way to induce it. but you furthermore mght want specific tips for handling things once nothing looks to be operating despite your best efforts.
One of the toughest things to manage is that the proven fact that some folks can dislike you regardless of however marvellous you're. the explanations why somebody doesn't such as you could also be incorrect, unfair or unjust. nonetheless they still have an effect on however that person deals with you.
I recommend a 3 step conceive to manage this challenge:
- Penetrate The contemporaries
Find the cluster|coevals|contemporaries|generation} of the one who dislikes you and ask for to form friends with folks during this group. Build a positive name with these folks one at a time and your public image can shift within the eyes of the one who you're having hassle with.
This is like doing all your own P.R. campaign on to the those who have the foremost influence over the opinions of the one who dislikes you. Peer group pressure is a powerful way to change the perceptions of a group member.
- Find Reasons To Like The Person
When someone clearly dislikes you what usually happens next? You start to actively dislike that person in return!
It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of control very quickly. The other person sees your negative reaction to them and responds accordingly. You feel and see how much disdain they have for you and you respond with more hate. Like a game of tennis the negative feelings bounce back and forth.
You can break this cycle. How? By deciding to find ways to like the person. Here are two ways to get started:
- Make a quick list of things you like or could like about this person.
Be creative. The more reasons the better.
- List the ways the person is like you.
This may be an eye opener because we often have very strong reactions to people who display characteristics we dislike about ourselves.
The more reasons you come up with the easier it will be for you to feel positive towards the other person. This change in your non verbal communication will be noticeable and will help ease some of the tension in the air.
This is often when the dynamics of the relationship can shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like the other person regardless of how they are behaving is the first step to making this happen.
At the very least you will feel better. And when you feel better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with these tricky situations.
- Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport
With someone who dislikes you the same rules of rapport still apply only you need to have more patience.
Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in question and over time you can shift the relationship from negative to neutral and maybe even to positive.
And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over and play dead.
Take charge of your communication with this person and aim to improve the situation. The little progress you make will boost your confidence and help you communicate even better with everyone else you ever meet.