My father was very good at ‘do it yourself’. He would spend countless hours in his workshop (which was extensive in nature and to a small growing up boy had every conceivable tool possible). Over the course of living on the outskirts of Durban (South Africa), he built the brick walls with iron railing across the front of the house, electric garage doors and tinkered with cars. He became a master of cement, electrics, plumbing, car maintenance, and painting.
The one down side was I remember as a kid trying to get involved, but my dad being the Health and safety type didn’t want us to get stuck into his tools. That and the fact that he was a perfectionist when it came to finishing off a job. He almost took DIY to a spiritual level and given you were only doing the job once and it would be plain to see by everyone else, it needed to be done well the first time. So whenever we would help paint something it would never be quite up to his standards of perfection. Unfortunately as a kid this meant me and none of my brothers showed any aptitude or interest in DIY. In our teen years my dad would continue to work in his garage on projects, whilst we tended to sit inside, probably playing first generation PlayStation. He possibly sadly rued the lack of interest by his sons…whilst we couldn’t be bothered. Now I’m not knocking my father – he was a wonderful father, but he did have a passion for his hobby and believed that the tools had to be respected.
This is a lesson though for would be fathers. If you do want your kids to learn something and get involved you will need to let them explore and fashion their own interests, whilst making their own mistakes. In trying to exact demanding expectations on us, sadly my father stifled the passion. Let your kid’s paint a wall (badly), let them fix that chair (crooked). And this is probably true of any hobby that a father or mother wants to teach their children. Even a mother teaching how to bake grandma’s special flapjacks – let them try. If the mix is slightly wrong and the batter doesn’t rise - who cares – there will still be the sense of joy that they created it themselves and next time could be better.
But this is not the only point I want to make. What is interesting is that I am my father’s son, and in some way his DIY passion has flowed through into my DNA. I obviously have done some painting (I mean who doesn’t live in London and hasn’t done their own painting) and happy to change a light bulb. But more recently having moved into the suburbs and having children the number of DIY jobs increases. My wife asked me if I could build a treehouse for the kids and I actually got quite excited by the prospect.
I differ to my father’s approach in DIY. I don’t have a meticulous professional approach. I’m pretty shoddy at keeping and sorting my tools so I probably have to replace a lot more. But I lend a creativity to what I do. I built a treehouse that the kids enjoyed and looked great. I followed up that task with decking outside and then a desk in the study of the house. I’ve put my hand to garden features like wonky arches, put in gates and most recently put in some homemade cupboards.
What is fascinating is that you don’t think you have the talent or skills for a particular job and so often you reach for the phone book to find a so called ‘expert’. But actually many jobs are far easier and less mystical than one thinks. After a project I always look at the work performed…and yes it may be slightly skew or the finish is a bit rough and ready. But there is a certain pride that I created that myself and with practice I could become even better. I am proud of the deck I did…it is broadly flat, it has funky little LED side lights that shine out onto different textures within the garden giving a whole different mood. In short it is not a Mona Lisa but a fairly attractive, albeit amateur watercolour of a seascape. Of course if I did it again I would have put bricks around all 4 sides of it, I would have made my cross beams slightly closer so the deck had less bounce to it. But that is what learning is all about. So I would encourage you to get stuck in and just try it. Paint that room. Fix that washing machine. Build a partition wall. And don’t worry if it’s not perfect. You will find both your passion and skill grows with each new project. And if all else fails you can always reach for that telephone book anyway.!