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Yes, I have also asked myself that many times. Perhaps it happens to me that, the famous "comfort zone" is no longer enough, but rather, it results in an "uncomfortable comfort".
Or maybe, you just have that feeling that, there must be some way to make life feel better. If so ... Congratulations to those who like me, are encouraged to question things and want to know how to be happy, or at least want to try
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That you are here, reading these lines, is already a good sign that you are willing to change. What is it that mar, because prepare several tips that have helped me, I'm sure, I'm sure I do?
1- FIRST, CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, THEN THINK ABOUT HOW TO BE HAPPY.
Bonnie Ware, worked in palliative care accompanying patients who had few months left to live. In this process he managed to conclude that the repentance that these people commonly expressed was: "I wish I had the courage to live a life of my own, not the life that others expected of me".
Life is one and too short for us to hope naively that perfect moment, in which we believe that happiness will come down from some heaven, and enter our life in the form of money, opportunity, person, etc. And that simply by embracing that moment, we will gather the strength to: start to be happy !.
No. Happiness is a journey much longer than that, deeper, and more comforting, indeed.
It is a daily decision to be happy, and like any other habit, it requires a constant commitment to internalize it.
So, first have the INTENTION, the predisposition for
leave your comfort zone, to leave old habits and thoughts behind, and right now begins to make simple changes, which will bring that feeling of wellbeing and fullness, which will allow you to be happier.
That is to say: stop looking for happiness, and start living happiness.
A study conducted by June Gruber (a Yale psychologist) suggests that constantly seeking to be happy can generate anguish. This happens when those who seek it, do so thinking that everything that is suggested to achieve happiness, MUST in fact make them happy, and can not deal with frustration, if the results do not appear in time and form.
The truth is that happiness is not the product of doing something, but a change in lifestyle, and not always achieved by magic.
You can start right now by making simple changes like:
forgives,
let it go,
relax (you can not control everything),
prioritizes peace and not always the reason (it is much healthier),
redefine your values,
smile a little more,
say thanks,
do not press,
eat slowly and enjoy each bite,
etc. (etc = the rest of the 6 points of the article)
2- CHANGE THE PARADIGM: success does not make you happier
This affects us all, because it is a paradigm that is still installed in society.
The cultural and social pressure in this regard has led us to believe that a title, a role, a position in a company, a giant check at the end of the month, a project that works, is what gives us happiness.
But: what would we be then, if all that disappears? Actually, it is not bad neither the check, nor the position, nor the project, what is wrong is to condition our life, and our "happiness" to that, because they are too ephemeral issues to work as the only support of our life.
Therefore, the road to success is completely the reverse of what we believe, and even, you can get a lot, but much more than we imagine, if we go through it this way.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, then you will be successful. "- Albert Schweitzer
Who does things for every day to be at peace, in fullness and live moments of happiness, can succeed in the rest of the challenges of life: in relationships, at work, in the family, etc.
According to a study carried out by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., of the University of California, it indicates that when people feel happy, they tend to be optimistic, energetic and to have confidence in themselves, which leads to the rest finding these people more pleasant, sociable and reliable.
These aspects expand the opportunities to: specify a business, to successfully meet objectives, create or develop new things, including to meet a couple, make more friends, etc.
So to be happier, try to leave that blind ambition, since the check will arrive, the car, and the status, will also come, if you first find the passion, the fullness in what you are and do.
3- POSITIVE AND HAPPY PEOPLE
Happiness is like a beautiful disease or virus that spreads around us.
Being with positive people, grateful, enthusiastic, contagia welfare, and transmit us that special energy, which allows the day surrounded by them, be more pleasant, comforting, and even more productive.
A study carried out by BMJ Group concludes that the happiness of the people depends to a great extent on the happiness of the people with whom they connect, and may even be a collective phenomenon.
Therefore, it is necessary to know how to choose who will be by our side, since the influence, both positive and negative, is very great.
Is not it exhausting to be around people who only complain, or that anything makes them sad, or that they feel dissatisfied with their life, transferring that frustration with unpatient, unkind and selfish attitudes?
These people, unfortunately, do nothing but throw us back, because it seems that, for them nothing is perfect, not too good, not too cute, not too fair, too promising, or too safe, etc.
Whether it's taking a trip, starting a project, starting a relationship, putting together a party, or choosing a restaurant to go to dinner, everything becomes too complicated and the day seems to be full of obstacles. These things do not help us to grow, to advance, in synthesis, it does not contribute anything in the life of someone who seeks to be happy.
If the water that does not flow freely, when it becomes stagnant, it becomes ugly, likewise happens with the energy that surrounds us, with the situations that are presented to us.
habitOye! With the above, I do not expect us to confuse "denial" with optimism. It also does not help to be with people denying reality, of problems, of the stones that every path has, since life is full of good and bad things, but the important thing is how we face these circumstances.
Positive and optimistic people, do not deny the problems, or an unpleasant reality, but have enough personal security, self-love, to know that they can change the course of things, and transform a sad, painful, or a failure , in an experience that will make us wiser, or stronger to keep moving forward.
4- LIVE THE NOW
"True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxiety dependent on the future" - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A study published in Sciencemag, indicates that people spend rambling 47% of their time, which implies a constant absence of the present, of the decisions we made, of the memorable moments ... and then we asked ourselves how it was that Christmas arrived so Quick? How did all this happen this year?
One of the most relevant factors for happiness, is to be focused on today, to embrace the present moment, to be aware of what surrounds us, and of every sensation that we are going through now, already, at this moment.
The past is not there, you do not count on yesterday, even less on the future. What we have is the present, and that is what we must learn to live.
If you think this two or three times, it sounds like little common sense, want to experience or live something that is no longer there, or even fantasize or worry about things that have not even happened yet, but that is how, apparently, it happens to us life. That's why nostalgia weighs so much, that's why so many regrets, so many fears without meaning ...
Why will we be so foolish and deprive ourselves of today? Today you are healthy, now you are drinking a hot, delicious coffee, now you are warm, now the sun is in your face and you can breathe, now you have a partner who accompanies you, a friend who calls you, a boss who encourages you, today is today.
Tomorrow we will have those things yet? And ... We do not know, but with certainty, living thinking about the past, or worried about the future, take us out of the life we have today, which is perhaps the life that can make us happy, but with so much noise, we can not realize .
5- PERFORM A PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.
how to be happy: do a physical activity. Do some physical activity in the day, change the day.
If you were tired, you will be with more energy, if you were worried, you will be less tense, if you did not like your body, you will like it more. Even if you suffer from insomnia, you can relax and get the sleep, which also allows us to have a better mood, be more lucid and focused.
Doing exercises also works very powerfully to calm anxiety disorders. A study conducted by Daniel Lenders, from the Arizona State University, indicates that exercise works better than relaxation, than meditation and music therapy, for episodes of anxiety.
Likewise, a study was carried out through which, it was found that even without losing weight, people who had been assigned a routine of exercises of 6 × 40 mins, after that they had a better perception of their body, in comparison with the group that was assigned a reading activity.
The benefits of physical activity transcend everything related to the body. A study found that people with depressive disorders, who had been suppressed all types of drugs and in their replacement performed different routines of physical activity, showed high rates of recovery, and most importantly, low rates of relapse, compared to those who had only followed a medication treatment.
Of course, I imagine that on a cold day, or after an exhausting day, it is easier to stay in the armchair, "relaxing" with a coffee, watching a series or reading a book, which is not bad, the case is, that you choose to ALWAYS do that.
For those who need to change the energy of the day once and for all, and a coffee, a beer, an armchair, does not return anything positive, exercise is the best antidote.
Although in the beginning it is difficult to gather courage to go for a walk, run, ride a bicycle during an icy morning, or a very hot afternoon, or a night, after solving all the problems of an exhausting day, if you finally dare to do it , the feeling when returning to your home, will be fantastic. I promise.
You feel stronger, more alive, healthier, more powerful, because you have managed to do something that you did not think you were going to be able to do. It is one more step of personal improvement. Try it, it's part of this beautiful daily job of being happier.
6-PRACTICE THE GRATITUDE
At this point, it is where I feel most comfortable, because the action of giving thanks has never failed me.
Not only give thanks to people, but to life, to the universe, or to the God in whom you believe. It's like the more grateful you are, life gives you back more than that for what you appreciate.
The act of gratitude is also a correlation of being focused, of living the now, it is an act of the present, of living your life today, because your conscience is in each of the things that are happening to you, and in what do you have.
It seems silly, but for me it is essential to have all my limbs: two legs, two arms, two ears (that's not a limb but they follow me with the idea), and when I do, I automatically feel a relief and happiness that each thing is in its place and that if I want I can go running and be free for an hour. I can see, I can smell, I can listen, I can taste the flavors of the world, I can feel the texture of things. And that really has no price. Or has it not happened to them to hit a leg or burn a finger, and that the whole routine of the day becomes a "hell"?
But leaving aside my humble experience, there are studies that confirm the great impact that gratitude has on our emotional well-being.
On the part of the Journal of Happiness Studies, the effects of writing thank-you letters were examined in a study involving 219 people, which consisted of participants writing a thank-you letter per week (3 weeks). The results suggest that the conscious focalization of everything that one has to thank, generates a beneficial impact at the emotional and interpersonal level, increasing levels of satisfaction and decreasing depressive symptoms.
For that, do not stop thanking.
For a moment, and write down on paper at least 4 nice things that happened to you during the day. What went well despite everything ?:
nobody scolded you at work, your son got a ten, you dropped 2 kg, a contract was successfully closed, you had an unexpected reunion with a friend of years, you made love, the money reached you to pay all taxes, you ate the best pasta dish in weeks, etc., etc. (And let's not forget the tips :))
All this will lead you to be more aware of the luck you have, and will help you start the next day with more energy, and with a better predisposition to face the daily obligations of life.
7- ACCOMPANY AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE
At this point I discovered something that I had not thought so much:
Many times we are so focused on our tasks, business, worries, that it seems that the hours of the day do not reach at all, but it has been shown that when we dedicate a couple of hours to other people, the perception of our time seems to be greater.
According to Cassie Mogilner, a researcher on the relationship of how to be happy and the time management of Wharton School, he concluded, through a study, that: "giving up some hours of our day to other people, generates the sensation, at the end of the day, that the time was much more abundant, including much more than if we did something for ourselves during our free time. "
Whether it's joining a volunteer, mentoring someone, helping a partner, or being a confidant of a friend who needs an ear, expands your sense of time and results in great satisfaction.
However, beyond time or money, what is important is the effect generated by these attitudes on others. A simple gesture can make someone feel worthwhile, that is not alone, and we give hope, even without knowing it.
I leave the following video, which I hope will inspire you to be able to do every day, not only do something that does us good, but to others.
Conclusion:
I hope these tips on how to be happy will be useful, and remember that you can start right now.
Do not expect the perfect conditions to start working on happiness. That does not exist. Happiness is a decision of every day, and it is necessary to stop looking for happiness, and start to live it.
For that, focus on the now, in the present. Become aware of everything you have, feel, and live TODAY. Tomorrow, we do not know, the past is gone, maybe you have everything to be happy, and you do not realize.
Enjoy every bite of food, every deep breath you can do, every morning that you can appreciate the sun.
If you are sad, tired, frustrated, anxious, I assure you that being on the couch, thinking about those things that hurt you, will not generate a change in you. Go for a walk, to run, to ride a bicycle, overcome the comfort of the moment, and encourage yourself to feel better.
Find people who take you further as a person, who challenge you, who allow you to move forward in life, in all aspects. Be generous with your time, with your space, with a gesture. You do not know what a single act can generate in the other.