(source: http://www.astonhotels.com/assets/slides (690X380-Romance-Kissing.jpg))

First and Foremost, Know that the Mind is VERY Powerful!!!

The key to having control over any facet of life, from mental health, to physical health, to social health/ status, to you-name-it, is to understand, acknowledge and respect the power of your mind (thoughts) over how you experience your subjective reality and how you're received (perceived) by the world of other subjective minds.

Your mind has equal power to propel you towards health, wealth, security, peace, happiness and freedom (to be oneself and make one's unique mark on life) as it does to drag you down to sickness, financial woes, insecurity, depression and mental-self-imprisonment (a mind that tortures itself with judgments and worries).

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS IMPORTANT...PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO IT:

You, as the conscious mind that you experience yourself being, are the MASTER of the powerful, potently influential, part of your consciousness - the part many refer to as the subconscious mind (unconscious mind is synonymous in most contexts) . You have the ability to program your thoughts (thinking patterns), as you'd have them. You also have the ability to program how you respond and/or react to your environment and the people whom you interact with, in the most ideal fashion.

Your mind is a POWERFUL TOOL that's impartial to how it affects you, it neither judges nor cares about what you believe or how fulfilling are your conditions of life - it's simply YOUR UNQUESTIONING SERVANT, 100% at your service!

The Human Condition

How we were conditioned to think as a youngsters determined what kind of ruler we became over our minds. At that young age, we had no way of realizing our own power to dictate what "sticks" (what gets programmed into the mind) and what gets kicked to the curbside, nor a mature enough intellect/ judgment to make healthy decisions about what we would "allow in". Who we see ourselves as today (self-image) and, consequently, the majority of our current life's conditions, is the result of that early, childhood, programming.

We all start off under those conditions. Indeed, it IS the human condition.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT FOLLOWING:

What separates those whom grow on to live a happy and fulfilling life and those whom continue to live the rest of their lives generally feeling as if life is pushing them around and leaving them with less than ideal conditions is whether or not they lived that moment of "taking the reigns" over their minds.

One Second.

One second is all it takes to make a huge turn of events in our lives; it's all that's required to shake up our paradigms and to begin walking in a different path, with an entirely different perspective on, and quality of, life.

Don't fool yourself: This is a CHOICE. This is ENTIRELY IN YOUR POWER, RIGHT NOW.

Do Yourself a Favor: Decide to Take Control Over your Mind; your LIFE, RIGHT NOW!

This is your power and it is your RIGHT, as a human being!

Don't fear it. Rather, find the courage within you to FACE it and to EXPLORE it. Learn who you REALLY ARE by facing this power of yours (to program your experience and to manifest your life as you deem desirable).

Be 100% with yourself, now. Be tuned to your senses. Be aware of your consciousness. Take a step back from thoughts, deeper into your awareness and realize that, right HERE, in this very moment, you have the ability to choose your state of mind and to re-frame your perspective.

Furthermore, realize (don't take my words for it; explore yourself and have the insight for yourself that what I say is true - you owe this to yourself!), that you have the power to remold and reshape every one of your memories and beliefs in a way that liberates you from your past and sets you up in every way for a healthy and fulfilling present and future existence.

With that Foundation Firmly in Place, Onward to Romantic Relationships We Go...

The conscious mind that we generally refer to as "self" is more than capable of focusing in onto specific areas of our lives and, because of the inherent power with the understanding of one's true place in consciousness - the ability to program and/or reprogram thoughts and actions/ reactions - assuming that we know our role as the master over our consciousness, we have the power to reshape how we relate to those facets and what we get back from them.

Since romantic relationships effect, on average, over 85% of our lives (assuming we become interested in the opposite sex at the age of 12~13 years and live to be above 80 years old) and can have a drastic effect on the quality of our lives, it seems a worthy area to focus on having some control over, no?

We Do Want Control Over Who We "Tie Up" with, Right?

Would you prefer to "settle" on who you date or who you ultimately end up marrying (should you ever make that commitment), or would you prefer to have TOTAL CONTROL and 100% CHOICE over those things?

Honest question.

Because, if you don't mind being at the complete mercy of chance and ruled by any current insecurities that you have towards women, then, by all means, keep on living within your current paradigm. If, on the other hand, you want to "take the bull by the horns" in this area of your life and have it completely handled, then DO IT, YOU DAMN FOOL!

LOL.

...but seriously, you have the power to take control over your romances. You have the power to attract the women that most attract you. You have the power to be relaxed and confident; to "have your shit together"; to set the right conditions to attract the woman of your dreams; to take on your ideal role within any future romantic relationships; to have it all go as you desire.

How to?

You have to take on the right "frame" (perspective), the one that suits what you want out of your relationships, and you do this by communicating it to the "servant mind" (subconscious mind) that it is so.

Speaking with Servant Mind

We must understand that the subconscious mind doesn't learn and speak in our conventional "language" of words. The subconscious language is that of images, specifically symbols. To "impress" new rules (programs) upon the subconscious we must speak in its language.

Before it will listen to us we must first take the right position, that of authority over it - our rightful position. To do this, we have to take a step back from identification with our current self-image, which, itself, is the consequence of the current programs running through our subconscious minds. We can "release" identification by becoming more aware of our consciousness and two easy ways to do this are to place our focus on our breathing and becoming more attentive to our senses (the sensations within the body).

We're ready to speak to the subconscious mind when our thoughts are noticeably "silenced" (thoughts come less frequently than normal) and/or seem more "distant" (the "voice" attached to the thoughts seems to have less intensity or effect on your feelings/ emotions). We should notice that our awareness seems heightened in this type of moment; that we're more attuned to our senses and state of mind, among other things - this is precisely what we're after. This is the position of SELF-EMPOWERMENT, a step, or steps, removed from associating ourselves with limiting thoughts/ beliefs.

When Ready, Speak on Its Level

There are a million and one right ways to communicate the intended message to the subconscious mind and it all comes down to feeling out, within ourselves, what symbols/ images will drive home the right message. Going with what feels right is PRECISELY WHAT WILL WORK!

Examples

If we want to drive home the message that we're in control of our conversations with attractive women and any other people whom happen to be involved in it or enter into it, then we may choose to visualize ourselves confidently steering the direction of this hypothetical conversation, seeing ourselves taking the lead and comfortably dealing with the ebbs and flows (general unpredictability) of all the people and other factors involved. If that doesn't feel like it's going over well, then we may choose to use a more symbolic representation of the same situation.

As an example, we could choose to envision ourselves as a master "fencer" (athletes that compete with fencing swords), who expertly "pokes fun" at the woman, or women, in question (now literally visualizing that we are stabbing at her with the fencing sword, but in a playful manner that causes her to laugh, smile, and feel wonderful with you) and can just as masterfully poke fun at any other fencers (people involved in the interaction, of which, the other "potential suitors" are of obvious concern) that happen to be involved or enter into the interaction. The point is to drive home the message that we can comfortably "steer the conversation", even when perceived competition (other potential suitors) are present, and are comfortable with taking the lead role in the relationship.

The second visualization example sends basically the same message as the first, more direct approach, just at a slightly different angle (perhaps a less personal, which might make it easier for you to accept; hence, more likely to be received by the subconscious mind as you intend it to be). However, it may be even more effective in that the symbolism may allow for a more generalized message. We may, for instance, picture the woman and all other people involved in the interaction as wearing a fencing mask, with the intention to show our subconscious that it doesn't matter who's standing in those positions, respective to us in this hypothetical conversation; that we'll feel comfortably in control (in charge) of the situation, regardless of what woman stands in front of us and whomever else happens to be involved.

Flesh it All Out, Leave Nothing to Chance

We can take the symbolism of the second example even further, to flesh out more nuances, by, for instance, considering scenarios wherein other men try to overtake our role as the leader in conversation or the woman in question "shit tests" us (takes jabs at us to see if we respond/ react in an "attractive way" - signaling that we're confident in ourselves and/or that we aren't being dishonest in our representation of ourselves).

Since our masterful use of the fencing sword represents our expert handling of the conversation and the anticipated unpredictable nature of it, we can visualize the other men as turning their playful swordplay into one of aggression and then visualize ourselves alertly picking up on their change of behavior and seamlessly, effortlessly matching our swordplay to beat them into commission, all whilst staying calm and in control of the entire setting. Regarding the woman's shit testing, we can visualize her stabbing back with her own sword and us playfully parrying those stabs with our own playful jabs (this is "flirting", after all!).

To add to the power of the message in the symbolic representation, we can visualize ourselves as having the wherewithal to realize when there's been enough play and/or when seriousness/ honesty is more appropriate, by visualizing ourselves taking the lead to decide when to stop the swordplay and when to remove the mask, seeing others follow suit as we replace the jabs with a calm and confident conversation that we continue to lead. It might be beneficial at this point to visualize a one-on-one, more intimate type of conversation with the woman.

Make it your Own

One of the above examples might be the right approach for you to get yourself where you want to be, but they may not be, too. It depends a lot on what you want, specifically, and probably even more on your current mindset and how you best relate to your subconscious mind.

The key here is to feel out what best works for you.

Some will get better benefits by using a more "coded" language (symbolism) to get the message to their subconscious minds. Others will get better results by using a more direct approach, such as in my first example (basically visualizing how we want to behave as it would be observed in the moment of happening, or as a memory recall of such a happening).

As I said earlier, a great deal of good can come from finding the courage to experiment with it. As with anything else that requires skill, the more time we put into it the more masterful we become with it.

Good Luck :)

Whatever your choice, I wish that you experience much peace, love and joy.

Happy new year!