Privet everyone! After I wrote [in my previous post] that I'm building an atomic bomb, first followers appeared. If I understood correctly, followers is people who began to build their own atomic bombs.
This is great! Still, nuclear weapons is indeed dangerous: if you make things wrong you can get hurt or explode your planet. But no worries, today I have 7 tips for you on how to not die from an atomic bomb, just follow my simple hints:
1. Don't give atomic weapons to children. Although some mutations look funny (My school friend after poisoning with uranium became two of my friends and both are members of the Russian parliament now), most of them are harmful to the child's body.
Remember: you can skip this tip if you plan to breed the race of superhumans from your children.
2. If someone sins against you and you really want to answer with nuclear weapon, please count to 100. This will distract you from offense and chill you, so decision to answer with nuclear weapon will be much more thoughtful.
3. Don't feed uranium to your pets. Because of mutations, your pet may acquire intelligence and rebel against humanity and other biological species, it's definitely not worth it.
4. Keep your nuclear arsenal in a dark and dry place, where mice, rats, cockroaches and other members of your family can't get in. This will extend the life of your weapons for dozens of years.
5. In case your nuclear bomb accidentally exploded while you were building it, tell everyone it was a nuclear test. We don't wanna let your neighbors think you're a loser who can't even handle atomic weapons, right?
6. No matter how hard you want to spend all your nuclear weapons, you have to keep several bombs in reserve. You'll understand how valuable this advice was when aliens will try to conquer humanity
7. Try not to look at a nuclear explosion. Although the spectacle may be really beautiful, you can enjoy it no more than one millionth of a second. It's better to shoot it on a video, so you can watch it yourself and share with yout friends. If you don't have bombs yet, you can share this tutorial, if you don't have friends, you probably forgot about Ivan! 1 russian friend counts as 100!
Thanks for reading, friends. If you didn't like this post you will probably die, remember to like it, vote for it and blablabla, this is the most important tip!
